#i recently remembered issue 100 & it made me head in hands in the not fun way

[pup-pee]

i h8 nightwing ((2016)) sm that i would reread it all over again just 2 make a list & point out all the things i dont enjoy in it

[atlabeth]

plastic hearts

pt 2

pairing: spencer reid x fem!gideon reader

summary: spencer gets a front row seat to some gideon family matters.

a/n: full 100% credit to @hotchfiles for her gideon!reader idea and thank you sm for allowing me to take a stab at her w spence, i love messy women and this was actually so fun for me lmao. i owe you everything for getting me out of this mini writing slump!! this just reinforces the fact that arguments are my fav thing to write bc this came out of nowhere lmao

wc: 1.1k

warning(s): very messy family relationship lol gideon and reader argue the whole time. reader's got daddy issues and a one-sided grudge against spence. drama and tension and not a good time for anyone but me

“Gideon, I was looking over the most recent case file and I—” 

Spencer is just barely able to avoid stumbling over both his words and himself only after he’s walked halfway into Gideon’s office. He’s nowhere to be found, only a pretty girl around his age sitting in the chair across from his desk with taut lips and a frown that you turn on him. 

“You’re not Gideon,” Spencer says dumbly. 

“Very astute,” you say. “They clearly hire the best here.” 

“W— who are you, exactly?” he asks. “And why are you in Gideon’s office? And where is he?” 

“That’s a lot of questions.” You tilt your head to the side. “Not surprised he hasn’t talked about me.” 

And once again, Spencer finds himself just staring at you. He’s pouring over every interaction he’s had with Jason Gideon since he started working here, every knickknack and tchotchke he’s ever seen on his desk, any pictures he might’ve seen from glimpses at his wallet. 

“You’re Reid, right?” Your eyes narrow in, and despite being around you for no more than a minute, he already feels like he’s doing something wrong. “He talks about you a lot. Probably more than me.” 

“Spencer Reid,” he says. “Uh— Doctor Spencer Reid, actually, but—” Spencer blinks and shakes his head, because why are you the one leading the conversation here? “Who are you, exactly? Because Gideon doesn’t really like visitors and he never really has them anyway and I really have to talk to him about something, so if you could just tell me where he is that would be great.” 

“I don’t know, but I’m surprised you don’t. He seems to like you a lot more than he likes me.” You huff a laugh. “I’m supposed to be here. He probably just forgot about it.”

Spencer opens his mouth to ask you again to just please say your name because the last thing he needs on his hands right now is a security hazard with him as the first line of defense, but he’s saved by the bell, because Gideon walks in right at that moment. 

He stops in his tracks as soon as he crosses the threshold, the pile of files and folders in his hands losing his interest—Spencer doesn’t even think he sees him, the way his eyes immediately lock in on you. He says your name, and Spencer doesn’t have to be a profiler to pick up on the annoyance. He swears he gets a hint of guilt, too. 

“I didn’t know you were coming to the office today,” he says. 

“Figures,” you remark. “We only made plans a week in advance and I only emailed you three times and called you today to make sure. How could you possibly remember?”  

“I never got a call.” 

“You never picked up.” 

“I was busy,” he says. “This job—” 

“I know,” you intone dryly. “It’s always the job.” 

“Gideon, I have a question.”

Spencer knows it’s not the best time, but the tension has shot up and the temperature has shot down, and he would really like to get out of here as soon as possible. Gideon frowns as he looks at him, and if Spencer didn’t know who he was working with he would have thought he was noticing him for the first time. 

“How rude of me.” Gideon walks over to his desk, and his voice is oddly restrained as he gestures at you. “Reid, meet my daughter.” 

He doesn’t even get the chance to say that wasn’t his question, because his eyes nearly burst out of his head as Gideon says your name and, more importantly, your title. 

“Your— your daughter?” 

“There it is,” you say wryly. “It’s heartwarming to know how much you talk about me, Dad.” 

“We don’t need to do this right now,” Gideon says as he sets his files down. He looks more tired than usual. 

“No, I think we do.” You lean forward, resting your elbows on your legs. “Because you finally agreed to fit me into your schedule for once, and instead, I meet boy wonder before I meet you.” 

“You don’t need to bring Reid into this,” he says. 

“I think I do,” you repeat. “Because I know about him and his three PhDs and how he’s the youngest agent here, and he doesn’t even know my name.” You look at Reid, a falsely disarming smile spreading across your lips. “You didn’t know my name, did you? I mean, based on that reaction, I don’t think you knew he had a daughter.” 

Spencer’s mouth opens and nothing comes out. He looks at Gideon for help, and he lets out a deep sigh as he says your name.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Can we reschedule?” 

“No,” you say. “I have a job of my own too, y’know. This was the only spot I could carve out to come see you—I’m blocked in for the next month.” 

“We just got a case,” he says. “We have to brief everyone and be out within the hour.”

“Of course,” you say bombastically. “You always have a goddamn case, Dad.” 

“I have no control over it,” Gideon says, his voice pained. “You know that.” 

“Maybe not over the case, but you have some pull here,” you say. “And you’re in full control when you decide not to pick up the phone.” 

“I didn’t ignore you,” he says, but you’re already shaking your head. 

“That’s not good enough.” You pick your purse up from the ground and sling it over your shoulder, and your glare shifts to Spencer. “Maybe I should get a job here. Maybe you’d give me the same attention you give to him.” 

Spencer blinks. He doesn’t know if he’s ever been more uncomfortable in this office, which is saying something with their field of work. 

“I— I’m sorry,” he stammers, because what else is he supposed to say?

You huff a mirthless laugh and shake your head. “At least one person is,” you mutter. 

You walk out without another word, and Spencer sees Gideon’s jaw clench for just a second. 

He calls out your name, mostly in annoyance with a hint of desperation, and he starts towards the door. He pauses before he can cross the threshold, and he looks at Spencer. 

“Not a word of this leaves this office.” 

Spencer nods far too many times in confirmation, and then Gideon dashes out. He hears him calling your name yet again in the distance. They have a new case, they’ll probably be on the jet within the hour, he still has these files in his hands and that unanswered question, and yet he’s rooted in place with wide eyes. 

“Gideon has a daughter?” he repeats quietly to himself. 

[benevolenterrancy]

Fic author interview!

Thanks for tagging me @morporkian-cryptid I'm taking a leaf out of your book and being a bit late responding, oops ;;; (also, like my last one, posting this on my art/writing blog despite getting tagged on my other blog :P)

@meso-mijali @rose-of-pollux @yarrayora @sorrel-scribbles @auxiliarydetective @pazithigallifreya

1 How many works do you have on AO3?

76!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

667,467 apparently, which feels like way more than I expected. Then again, I also didn't expect to have seventy six fics on there either...

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lost In Translation (7,256 kudos) An Overwatch fic. I was baffled when it did as well as it did while I was actively posting it and frankly I'm not sure how to deal with the fact that it's still head and shoulders above every other fic I've written. I think it must be from people sorting by kudos and creating a weird positive feedback loop.

How To Torment Cats (And Witchers) (2,124 kudoes) A very light-hearted Witcher one-shot with Ciri and Dandelion

Standard-Issue (1,143 kudos) Another Overwatch fic, this one about McCree's recruitment into Overwatch

Sunlight and Sea Foam (1,102 kudos) A Witcher mermaid!au. This one I'm still pretty pleased with, it was a lot of fun to write.

Mark My Place (952 kudos) A post-canon MDZS fic in which I get to lavish love on Wei Wuxian! A pretty impressive kudo count given that it's only a few months old

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Generally I try to! I really appreciate getting comments and I want to let people know that <3 Fandom is the most fun when it's a community and the only way to get that is to actually connect with people. Also I personally appreciate it when an author responds to comments when a new chapter drops because it helps me keep track of fic updates, so I often do that too for on-going stories :3

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really go in for anything without a happy ending ^^;; Maybe In My Hands I Held The World purely because I didn't finish it and stopped writing in the middle of the all the hurt and never made it to the comfort? Or Promises Misconstrued just by virtue of it.... well, being what it is.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

We only believe in happy endings here!! I really couldn't narrow it down, I like a happy ending... The Celestial Shell Game was a pretty recent one MDZS fic that was just pure post-canon fix-it and reconciliation and lightly bullying the juniors

7. Do you write crossovers?

I do from time to time, but most aren't ever cleaned up or completed to the point of posting -- they're just Fun For Me fics.

My only completed crossover is a Torchwood/MASH fic called An Officer's Guide to Surgery, Shelling & Pterosaurs. It was honestly just a wild ride to write. Very proud of how that one turned out

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A bit, but not for years. The only one I specifically remember was someone who was very unhappy that I wasn't including individual chapter content warnings, I guess because they've never read a novel?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not often, I am Very Ace, but it does happen occasionally. Bound and Held was my most recent one, which was really just 20k of pure kink exploration because Geralt and Dandelion just have the vibe

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so...

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

One! An old Les Mis fic got translated into Chinese years back :3 that was very flattering that someone would want to go to that amount of effort

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Me and @meso-mijali will co-write stuff from time to time, but nothing that's ever made it to completion. I do use her relentlessly to help me solve plot dilemmas (or make new plot dilemmas, depending on how things are going)

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Could not tell you, 100% depends on sort of mood I'm in sorry xD I bounce all over the place. At the moment I am deeply into wangxian, to the surprise of no one following me on tumblr at the moment

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Well, any of my three current fics I'd love to make some progress on >:/ but I'm still hopeful about getting them finished, albeit slowly and painfully. I have a Hogan's Heroes dating sim that me and @meso-mijali have been working on but the longer it goes undone the more I suspect it never will be *sigh* it took so much planning but it's hard to pick up again in the middle. I also had a Lupin soulmate au called Mosiac that I feel bad about dropping. I still quite like the concept but I'm stuck on where to go next with it...

15. What are your writing strengths?

Uhh... I dunno, there must be something because people seem to enjoy my work well enough but I'll be damned if I know what it is. I think I write high intensity, sensory-based scenes pretty well? At least I like doing them a lot. And I get complimented on my character voices sometimes, so hopefully that!

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing >:/ I will ramble and ramble and ramble and then need to go back and cull things until I have a fic that's even halfway readable. It's so hard to get good pacing down.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Big fan, I'm always here for a bilingual bonus. Either I understand it and get a little thrill out of it or else I just google translate it real quick. As for me writing it I generally don't because I don't want to fuck it up beyond reason... sometimes I might dabble with French if it's character appropriate.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Les Mis! I'm too terrified to reread anything from my Les Mis era because god only knows what my writing was like back then, but it was such a warm and welcoming fandom it's what finally gave me the nerve to starting engaging in fandom space as more than observer

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

...I'm not sure I have one, if I want to write about something I generally do, even if I don't get it to be "publishing" worthy... Maybe Hogan/Kinch? I really like that ship, but I've never written much Hogan's Heroes fic to begin with, I think I only have one published work, and I find it a hard one to write shippy things for

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Huh... I'm not sure. There a number of fics I've written that I still really really like and will reread (the author's amazing! she knows exactly what I like!) I'm really proud of my Torchwood/MASH crossover, it's my longest fic and took the highest level of technical skill to write. I also tend to reread A Poet Under Pressure fairly often because I do love tormenting Dandelion u.u

[weebsinstash]

More Val pls 😭 there’s never enough of him

I like this nasty man an unhealthy amount so I could just spit ball some random concepts I've been having for him

-I've been playing around with the different products and things I do to my hair and it made me think of like, since Val is so materialistic and likes having "pretty company" that he starts obsessing over Reader and their hair. Like, I mentioned before a concept "oh what if Reader's hair or eyes or something on them glowed" cause, you know, hes a moth, and you're just sitting chilling during or after your shift and like, he's on the phone or doing something where you aren't 100% paying attention to him and he just. Reaches over and starts playing with your hair. You're trying not to side eye him and give him weird looks in confusion as he's just casually twisting a strand of your hair around a finger, maybe running his fingers through it, just kind of, all but palming the top of your head. And you can't ask him what the fucking deal is because he's on the phone and you're just a server and you don't want him to potentially give you the pimp hand for interrupting what sounds like a potential business deal (and of course that's his intention). he's just getting his hands and fingers all up in that shit while you can't say anything while he's seeing your hair texture, where your parts are, the state of your hair and your scalp, maybe you catch a scowl or two if you have an issue like accidentally using too much conditioner or he sees any dandruff, making a mental note to "fix you later"

-couple that with another idea of "Valentino making you hate your own hair and maybe since it glows its white or something and one day he EXTREMELY pisses you off and the very next shift you have you slam his drink down on the table 'here you go Mr Valentino ^^' and he looks up and you've dyed your hair jet black and it doesn't glow now and he INSTANTLY drags you to HIS salon and his hair stylist to get all that out of your hair without damaging it (and maybe you even dyed it wrong or with the wrong materials to try and damage it or make the dye permanant on purpose just to piss him off and hope he leaves you alone, which he doesnt)

-Be high maintenance to be low maintenance. He wants to see you all fixed up without garnering animosity from, well, the hoes. Everyone is in the limo and he says some shit like how recently everyone's been earning him a lot of money so he's gonna treat everyone and he's just kind of like "and you can come too I guess 🙄" as if he's just throwing you in there as an extra but in actuality this is him avoiding anyone going "but Daddy why do THEY get XYZ and not me 🥺" because if he could, like, he'd just be a two faced asshole and blatantly pamper you while neglecting his hardest workers like, say, Angel. I've even considered, like, what if Valentino notices huge changes in Angel's positivity and obedience and just overall demeanor after he hangs out with you (because remember, Angel has a little sis who presumably went to Heaven and he misses her a lot) and Valentino kind of makes you two a package deal: if he keeps you happy, you help keep Angel happy and easier to manipulate

-like just imagine Angel is trying to stick up for himself amd tell Val, hey maybe I don't wanna sleep with that john, he's a real fuckin creep, and Valentino just cocks a brow, "oh, you want me to have your little friend do it instead?" And Angel is just alright sir right away sir thank you for this opportunity Mista Valentino 😊 like. Depressing

-another idea I've had is like, what if Valentino actually didn't even really care for you but VOX does and once he starts paying attention to you, it sucks Val in. And this kind of ranges from everything of "you're kind of a gamer/dweeb like Vox and you two click" to "you produce music and Vox is aware of/fan of your stuff, or Velvet is if Reader is like, an idol, because why not for fun lmao" to "you're a chick but you're a little more 'butch and tough' than Val's other girls and he's like a bottom or a switch and he likes that

Like can you imagine like, everyone is in the limo when it pops a tire or some shit and everyone has to get out on the sidewalk, and maybe someone on limo maintenance fucks up and there's no jack, or maybe one of the drivers is too dumb to know how to properly remove a tire, and Vox and Val are just getting progressively pissed off and, there you are, rolling up your sleeves and just, reaching down and, getting the breaker bar to finally spin and loosen the bolts around the tire, or even reaching down and picking up the limo (because really, where is the fun in putting Reader in a world with magic and powers and not getting anything ourselves"

Or someone comes to try and kill Val because he's a gangster and maybe he fucked someone over on a deal and that secret second job I.M.P training of yours kicks in and you practically become John Wick. You do some sly shit like idk catch Vox from falling and tripping or pulling him just out of reach of getting fucked up and all but pull him into a tango dip and maybe to lighten the mood you try to joke around "hey handsome you come here often?" While you're holding him up with your strength like he weighs nothing and he's just PINK and later on he's laying with Val in bed "hey I think I might be bi actually???" while Val pokes and prods to find out who tf he's talking about

-I've thought of really just goofy concepts for fun like, what if there's a dance competition with a cash prize and Reader who is maybe male in this idea is on the downlow but is like a dance major or even a hip hop superstar and he enters the competition and he's nearly in the semifinal round and suddenly the shows like "and for an extra special guest judge today we have the Porn King of Pentagram City, Valentino!!!" and your blood runs cold because like you're not exactly stripping but there have been quite a few dances where you've been dropping your ass a lil bit and being just more than a little zesty and Valentino turns his eyes to you and he's got just the most smug "I caught your ass" smirk on his face. The version of you Valentino knows is blunt and quiet and doesn't talk much, all but over compensating masculinity, and yet here you are, shaking that waist and ass of yours until he wants to squeeze you with all of his hands.

-honestly just concepts in general where Reader turns out to have some sort of artistic gift are fun. Reader is an author and Valentino finds out your porn is actually pretty good, or maybe he's entertained the quiet shy mousey little you had a nasty side, or maybe the numbers you reach on your stuff screams money to him. Or he brings you to a club and the track on the speakers change and your face lights up "oh my god I wrote this!" And its a song from when you were alive and you rush to the dance floor to whip out some choreography way too planned and precise to just be some bullshit you're whipping out of nowhere and maybe even singing as people in the club instantly recognize you as formerly-alive fans

Honestly its a little wacky but imagine the like tonal difference, the dichotomy, the black and white difference of, Valentino being this absolute fucking pervert and you're like this shy not very talkative person and he finds out like you're some poppy preppy bouncy feminine lil idol like some SAYU or Kyary Pamyu Pamyu shit and he's laughing in your face and maybe his pal Velvet comes into the room and her eyes just light up and suddenly she's shoving her phone in Valentino's face to show him your newest hit "Let Me Skip Into Your Heart (And Also Suck You Off) feat. Verosika Mayday" with like 2.5 million views in three months and he's like "ok I GUESS you have SOME talent 🙄" while he's also having an internal battle "wait do I have I new fetish for wanting to rip girly dresses and thigh highs off this bitch 🤔"

Honestly just "Valentino finding out you're a celebrity/influencer" ideas have been kind of fun. Imagine he's just minding his own business and one of his workers is sitting next to him watching something on their phone and he looks over and its a makeup tutorial, by you, or you're reviewing a certain product while making people laugh, or you're doing some like Stanzi Potenza sorta comedy or something, and he glances down to the metrics and likes amd view counts and its huge and he just glances across the limo to you and you're. In your work uniform, hair barely combed, you have some new acne breakouts, you have bags under your eyes, posture is shit because you're exhausted, but, that's definitely you and now he gets to find out the sheer scope of what you've been up to, and maybe becoming a manager of yours in the process

Ive even thought of like, what if Reader offhandedly gave Valentino some business advice and it turned out working really well and he consults you from time to time. Like imagine Valentino is talking business and you're around and he's talking about profits and shit and like, maybe the amount of people who want to sleep with his top earners is down, even not as many people want Angel to satisfy Val's green, and maybe you just kind of offhandedly butt into the conversation without even looking up from your phone "well maybe its because he's a porn star. If you just like created a celebrity or an idol or a micro celebrity or something who was attractive and then you pimped them out in secret it would probably make you a ton of money, like of Beyonce started her career as a stripper that would put a ton of people off but if you told people they could secretly fuck Beyonce the musician they would sell their entire families for it" and maybe that segues into "Reader becomes some sort of idol or entertainer or singer or product for Valentino that he eventually pimps out (or even decides he won't because he's too jealous, you can sing and dance but HE'S the only one you can sleep with)

God I can't wait until Hazbin comes out this year. I HAVE to know what this man sounds like because the voice and finally seeing and hearing his speaking will be everything 😩❤️ or it could backfire and I might not like the finished product as much as the one I've built up in my head but, thems the breaks right?

[kakashiswilloffire]

hey friend! i saw you are taking requests and would love to submit one if you're up for it!

would love something fluffy and sweet for kakashi. maybe some lazy day off shenanigans with his s/o and his ninken? bonus points if snuggling in a dog pile is involved at some point. reader can be gender neutral.

thanks and congrats on 100!

thank you so much!! i'm not really a dog person so i struggled a bit but i hope you enjoy!!

ao3

words: 2.4k

warnings: none!

It was the first day off you had both had in nearly a month. Team 7 kept Kakashi busy, if not with missions, then with training all day. On top of that, he was still in the on-call rotation all jonin were required to keep their names in, though his shifts were less frequent due to his status as a sensei. You had recently been promoted, and with that, your responsibilities were upped and you had been asked to step in for one of your colleagues who had recently run into some unexpected health issues. The time you had been able to share at home together had been limited to early mornings and late evenings, and frequently, there had been nights where the apartment you shared had remained empty entirely. Your fiancé had been counting down the days until your schedules finally overlapped, and you had exactly twenty-six hours in which you both had no obligation to the outside world.

You were awoken by the fire alarm screeching and a handful of swear words, followed by a crunching of plastic and sudden silence. Gaze flickering to the side, you noted Kakashi’s two-thirds of the bed empty and grinned, holding back a chuckle.

“Everything alright, babe?” you called out.

The reply came with an air of resignment. “Did I wake you up?”

You brought your arms over your head, feeling your joints re-align and pop lightly as you stretched.

“Not necessarily, unless you need help cleaning up?”

“No!” He replied quickly, and you heard the broom skitter across the tiles, dragging the remains of the smoke detector with it. “Go ahead and go back to sleep, I’ll come wake you later.”

Not one to deny the opportunity to rest after how late you’d gotten in last night, you snuggled back into your pillow with a small smile. It only took a moment before you were drifting off again, although not as deeply as you had been. You were dimly aware of the sound of teapot being filled, the burnt toast smell wafting through the open door, and your fiance’s graceful footsteps as he danced through the kitchen.

Wait.

Danced?

You raised your head up slightly, freeing both ears to focus on the sound of the Copy Ninja’s footsteps. His weight wasn’t distributing evenly on each step and the pattern of his footfalls was irregular. Bringing yourself to a sitting position, you suddenly realized that he was humming absentmindedly in the small kitchen.

Kakashi was not known for his stoicism, but the level of professionalism he established outside of the copy of Icha Icha attached to his palm was carefully maintained even in his downtime. When you went out together for dinner or drinks with friends, he told few jokes and mostly at Genma or Asuma’s expense. Gai’s repeated challenges to karaoke contests, both in locations with and without a karaoke machine, had always been flatly denied in favor of watching you and Kurenai choose the heartbreaker duet of the week to belt out. When you found yourself at the rare club, it only took light coaxing to bring him onto the dance floor with you, but anything more than swaying to the beat was out of the question. As long as he was having fun, you didn’t mind him not joining in the way the others teased him to do, but you had wished that he would be able to let go of his responsibilities long enough to really enjoy himself one day.

You slinked out of bed, keeping your movements as fluid as possible as you wrapped the comforter over your shoulders. As silently as you could move, you travelled into the hallway and through the living room, the smell of something acrid and burnt slowly getting stronger. You flattened yourself parallel to the wall, though not touching it to prevent the noise of the comforter dragging along, once you approached the doorway to the kitchen. He was certainly humming, and you couldn’t repress a grin, realizing he must be nearly skipping from the counter to the pantry from the way he moved. As slowly as you could, despite your excitement, you leaned around the corner to check on the man in the kitchen.

Kakashi was wearing boxers and a binder, his most comfortable outfit when secure inside your shared home. To your delight, he had chosen one of the binders without a mask attached, and you had a clear view of the slightly silly grin plastering his face as he shifted intermittently from humming to light, mumbled singing, punctuated by murmuring the ingredients he was using as he reached for them. He was stationed at the stove, stirring a medium pot and tasting from it in between verses of his song, reaching for more salt or minced garlic to adjust. He closed his eyes, bobbing his head side to side at a line he took a particular interest in, the morning sunlight catching glints of silver in his messy hair.

Taking advantage of his eyes being shut, you whipped back around the doorway into the living room, quickly tiptoeing away. You were so in love, and so happy to see him carefree, your mouth fell open in a silent scream and your hands, corners of the comforter still held in each, flew to your face.

You had to tell someone. No one would ever believe that Kakashi Hatake, master of a thousand jutsu, could be so sweet and cute behind the former ANBU exterior. Quickly, you crouched to the floor, abandoned the comforter, and made the required handsigns, pausing for a moment to remember if it was hitsuji or uma that came after saru, then gently pressed your palm against a squishy couch cushion. With a puff of smoke that evaporated almost as quickly as it was created, Pakkun sat before you.

You brought your finger up to your lips in a shushing gesture immediately. The tiny dog squinted, but nodded his agreement after a beat. This was your third or fourth time summoning him, and the first time you had done with without Kakashi. Animal summons were not your strong suit, and you had never particularly been a dog person, a fact that Pakkun had keyed in to almost instantaneously upon meeting you when you had no more than polite “my boyfriend’s pet” level interest in his paw pads. They were as soft and supple as he claimed, but you didn’t quite understand the appeal of man’s best friend.

You made the simple gestures required to convey that there was something to see and led Pakkun quietly toward the entryway to the kitchen where you could hear the rice cooker being sealed and started. Kakashi had switched to a different song and was now vocalizing the instrumentals softly, occasionally pausing to mime playing the instruments he was mimicking. Your hand found its way over your mouth, your heart melting with the gentle domesticity. Then you jerked away, feeling a soft scratch at your feet.

The pocket-sized grizzled dog glared at you until you bent down, when he pointed upwards toward a mess of hair. You felt a pang of guilt as you realized from this angle, all you could see was the shinobi’s calloused hand pushing silver strands out of his face, the black engagement band glinting dully on his finger. For the wedding in four months, you had managed to arrange custom bands for you both with the Hatake crest engraved into the matte surface. Kakashi didn’t know yet, and you knew that with how mission work was, he wouldn’t get to wear it often, but he would have a piece of his clan’s legacy with him whenever he did wear it.

The feeling of disappointment radiated off of the dog with the headband as you absorbed the fact you hadn’t considered him not being able to see over the counter. After a moment, you held out both your hands cupped together, fingertips resting on the floorboards. Pakkun regarded this, looking from your hands to your face, which you tried to humble appropriately. He sniffed at your exposed palms, then delicately stepped into your arms.

Bringing him up to your chest as you stood back up, you felt him stiffen. Had you moved him too quickly? Were you holding him too tightly? You ran two fingers down the back of his head instinctively and were surprised to find him relax. Kakashi tasted the cloudy liquid from the pot again and nodded firmly, turning toward the doorway. You whipped around, placing your back against the living room wall and clutching Pakkun tightly to your chest. You both held your breath, waiting to see if you’d been caught.

He sang to himself, “almost ready!” and you released your breath. Quickly, you snagged the blanket off the floor and made your way back to the bedroom.

“What’s the occasion?” Pakkun demanded as soon as you had the door shut behind you, jumping onto the bed.

“There is none! It’s just our first day off in a while, and he thinks I’m still asleep!”

Pakkun considered that quietly. “His pa, Sakumo, used to do the same thing. If he thought no one was around, he’d put on a whole concert for himself. Kakashi used to join him, up until his death. Then I didn’t catch him humming again till about a year after Minato’s death. Life had been rough for the poor pup up till about then. But he’s been in there all morning singing to himself?”

You nodded, pulling the gray comforter tighter around your shoulders. You knew your fiancé had been through more than most people should ever have to go through, but to think he might be making a breakthrough with his depression and trauma—to start singing again?

Pakkun made an odd noise that reminded you of a sneeze, then pawed at his eye and seemed to clear his throat. “I gotta tell the others. They’re gonna lose it.”

“Yeah, you should definitely head back and let them know the good news. I’m supposed to be asleep after all, he’ll probably come wake me up in a minute or two.”

The sly dog hesitated, then a wicked glimmer flashed across his eyes. “Or…”

Before you could react, you were engulfed a thin cloud of smoke that smelled vaguely of grass, and your bed began to creak. You jumped up, gasping at the number of variously sized dogs that had appeared in the room.

Pakkun addressed the crew before anyone could ask any questions. “Stay quiet. We’ve got a stealth mission ahead of us. Everyone, this is Kakashi’s partner, the one he’s marrying soon.” He then turned to you and pointed out the pack members in a line. “Bull, Urushi, Shiba, Bisuke, Akino, Uhei, and Guruko.” They were all undeniably adorable, and you’d have to ask your fiancé when he had the time to commission them all matching vests and headbands, but you were still shocked to see so many dogs. Did he really have eight summons? When most shinobi had one, if any?

“Name of the game is observe without being detected. Target: Kakashi. Location: kitchen. Standard formation. Questions?”

With no questions being posed, Pakkun lept up onto Bull’s head and led the way. You marveled in how quietly such a massive dog could move and trailed the pack as they made their way through your apartment.

You heard the timer on the rice cooker ding, then the seal breaking and relished the scent of the steam drifting through the air. There must be a stick of lemongrass in the rice this morning. You could see that Kakashi was beginning to set the table, gathering everything for a cozy breakfast for two.

He was also singing, audibly, with some degree of confidence.

One by one, the dogs all stopped and froze in awe. Akino and Uhei stepped around to the other side of you, and Shiba—or maybe it was Urushi?—popped their head between your knees to try to see. You were surrounded on all sides by the ninken, and you started to feel comforted by their warmth. Together, you all listened to your man serenade chopsticks and bowls as he spun to the small table, breaking into a mock tap routine as the china hit the wooden surface. You felt your head tilt to the right as you let the waves of love rush over you as you watched him carefully adjust the oily, burnt pan in the sink so he could wash his hands.

“Alright, love—breakfast is ready!”

For just a moment, you forgot that you were supposed to be in bed. You didn’t move as Kakashi rounded the corner, freezing when he saw nine sets of puppy-dog eyes gazing wistfully back at him from the middle of the living room, all heads tilted to the right and dreamy smiles plastered on each face.

“Ah! Uh, how long have you, uh…?”

Together, you moved as a pack toward your loved one, tackling him in a ten person hug. When you wormed your way past Uhei, you cupped Kakashi’s face and brought him in for a deep kiss, feeling butterflies in your stomach. He blushed slightly, tracing his thumb along your jawline.

“I love you, and I’m so glad that you feel safe and happy and loved with me,” you whispered fiercely, trying to beam the intensity of your emotion at him without being too aggressive.

He smiled, Sharingan deliberately taking the whole scene in as he lay on the floor with you, pulling you into his arms. Pakkun trotted over to sit on his chest while he brought you in for a firm, tight hug.

“Me too. And I’m glad you got to meet the rest of the clan.” He let the Sharingan fall shut, relaxing against you.

“Would’ve made more miso soup if I’d known everyone was coming over. Have you seen the dog bowls around anywhere?”

[starlight-writes-stuff]

hi, do you think you could do another blurb for ethan? maybe something nsfw? like, a party hookup? im thinkin about fratboy!ethan 👁👄👁

(wc: 5.5k) pls im always thinking about fratboy ethan :,) but yes i can do this 100 % ! this ask prompted something deep in me and i ended up making a playlist to go with it as well 🤧here’s the link to that if ur interested https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4yXuVtAKBHexm5ifE9NQ2B ! A L S O i’m sorry this took forever to get to ,,,, life has been a lot recently lol . reblogs are always appreciated ! <3

AYO LOOK AT THESE ! : smut (obvious but still) , sex while under the influence (with explicit consent given) , softdom! ethan , marajuana use , alcohol use , unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it , plz) , swearing , college au , an unus annus reference if u look close enough , and i believe thats it . enjoy ! xoxoxoxo , starlight .

a little party never killed nobody

it was the exact same as every other college party you’d ever been to. shitty music, shittier alcohol, shittiest people- except for him. 

when ethan nestor had invited you to a frat party, you’d laughed in his face. you knew that he was a member of data data data, but he wasn’t the type that made it his whole personality. as far as you’d observed, he wasn’t the partying type, either, but there he was, texting you the house address.

“so you’ll come tonight? it’s going to be a pretty big thing- a lot of people coming. you should be able to walk right in, but if anyone gives you shit just tell them you’re with me,” he said, a slight smirk playing on his lips. you and ethan hadn’t been talking for long; technically, you hadn’t even known that he’d existed two weeks ago. 

when ethan had first sauntered up to you in physical sciences, that same smirk painting his face, you’d picked up on the underlying chemistry right away. he was a flirt by nature, but he seemed to play it up even more around you- the brunette boy had asked for your number the first day you met, and you’d been talking almost constantly since. he was funny and sweet and extremely charismatic, and he made your heart flip in your chest with the smallest glance. the two of you hadn’t hung out alone yet, so this party felt like a big deal.

or, at least, that's what you’d thought.

when you showed up at the front door of the frat house loud, bass-filled music was already shaking the window panes in their frames, and you could hear what sounded like a hundred different voices all talking over each other. ethan hadn’t been kidding when he said that it was a big party; at least half of your year was here, plus the older and younger students interspersed throughout the throngs of people as well. as you made your way to the kitchen, ethan was nowhere to be found. you felt as if all eyes were on you as you started to pour a drink, and dimly, you wondered if people could tell that you didn’t belong.

however, most of your anxious thoughts had been subdued after the first solo cup of vodka lemonade, and you were now well through your second. the music pounding throughout the house felt as if it had infiltrated your veins, filling them with a warm, buzzing sensation that loosened your limbs. at some point, a guy had come up to chat with you. then another. you weren't sure how many times you’d given out your snapchat tonight, but it had been a lot, and you were about to do it again. 

the guy you were currently talking to introduced himself as danny. he was some sort of business major, much like every other guy that you’d spoken with tonight, and was very clearly trying to hit on you. even through the alcohol-induced haze, you remembered who you came here for and you weren't leaving without him. you put a hand on danny’s shoulder, effectively cutting him off in the middle of his sentence.

“hey, do you know where ethan is? ethan nestor, i mean? he’s the one who invited me here.”

danny looked disappointed, but seemed to shift and slot puzzle pieces together in his head, snapping his fingers. “you're the girl he invited? that makes so much sense, actually. yeah, he’s out back- toking up, probably,” he explained, gesturing towards a door you would’ve never noticed. “out there and down the stairs. need an escort?”

you almost denied his advances but spotted an old fling loitering by the hidden door. giving danny a tight smile, you drained the rest of your drink and held up a finger. “one sec! stay here.”

butterflies flooded every inch of your being as you stumbled over to the makeshift bar, pouting a variety of liquors into your cup. you were going to see ethan outside of class. on his turf. something about it shook you to your core, but you couldn’t quite figure out why. 

sure, ethan was hot- that was obvious. but he’d been flirty, too. were the two of you a thing? if you weren’t, why had he been talking to danny about 'the girl he was inviting’? clearly, ethan had been talking about you, you just weren't sure of the context. you tried to swallow all these fears as you topped off your cup with lemonade, taking a small sip. trying not to spit it out, you added more juice; you’d made the strongest mixture you could think of, and it tasted like some sort of poison. that didn’t stop you from taking another small sip, then a bigger one. you needed the buzz.

“okay! let's go.”

danny led you out the door and down the stairs with no issue, and you quickly realized how tipsy you were - the stairs seemed to bob and warp under your feet, and you grabbed onto the handrail with a death grip. he noticed this easily, laughing a bit. “are you good?”

“great. it's the heels and alcohol- they don't mix well.” you laughed at yourself, regretting the chunky, heeled boots you’d thrown on.

“you can ditch them, if you want. we’re going out onto a deck, so you won't be in grass or anything,” danny explained, pointing to a pile of shoes by the door you were about to exit. you weren't going to argue with that, thankful that you’d chosen cute socks as you wrestled the footwear off and tossed it onto the pile. your stomach flipped as danny opened the door, cool night air biting into your warm skin, waking you up a bit. the sourish-sweet scent of marijuana flooded the small stairwell, and danny chuckled. “told you he was smoking.”

nothing could’ve prepared you for the way you felt watching ethan take a long drag off of some sort of pen, letting the vapor pour from his lips in pale blue plumes. something about the easy way the smoke seemed to float from his mouth went straight to your center, and you dug your nails into your palms, trying to get yourself under control. ethan finally realized that more people had joined the small crowd on the bench, and his heavy-lidded eyes seemed to light up as they roamed all over you lazily. this only furthered the sensation between your legs, the coils starting to tighten in your lower stomach. 

what the hell?

“y/n, you made it,” ethan said, a smile taking over his face. he quickly hopped down from where he’d been sitting on the guardrail and made his way over, wrapping an arm dangerously low around your waist. he hugged you tightly, making your heartbeat stutter as you squeezed him back.

you mumbled a ‘hello’ into his neck as ethan let his touch linger, your body held tightly to his. someone cleared their throat, conversation starting back up, and ethan reluctantly pulled away, dropping his eyes to yours. he kept a hand on the small of your back, sending electricity running up and down your spine. “having fun?”

you could barely talk as you forced yourself to respond. “yeah, lots. you’re a hard person to find.”

ethan grinned again, letting his head fall back as he laughed. “my bad. i thought you would text me when you got here. found someone to take care of you , though?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow. the facial expression did absolutely nothing for the situation building up under your skirt- only worsening your want for the tall boy in front of you. 

“who?”

ethan smirked, dropping his lips to your ear. “that's what i like to hear. you look pretty, y/n.”

the way he said your name practically undid you, ripping your self-control apart at the already weakened seams. you let a hand wander up and down one of ethan’s sculpted arms, outlining the planes of muscle through his hoodie as you crossed your legs; sure, it was the ladylike thing to do, but you were desperately looking for some sort of friction, anything to lessen the need for him.

“thank you.”

ethan nodded, the hand that had been perched on your back sliding over your hip before finding your hand. he laced his fingers into yours, and you were shocked at how forward he was being. the two of you had flirted heavily- and okay, maybe you’d sent some suggestive pictures back and forth- but ethan seemed to be claiming you as he led you over to the round table where all his friends were sat. again, you carved half-moons into your palms with your nails as you added up all the chairs- there wasn’t enough. you began to let go of ethan’s hand, ready to boost yourself onto the railing, but he gave your fingers a gentle squeeze. you watched as ethan settled into the overstuffed outdoor chair, gesturing at his lap.

fuck.

you took a brief moment to admire the mess you’d gotten yourself into before you gingerly sat on ethan’s lap, trying to make yourself as small and weightless as humanly possible. that didn’t last long, though. ethan circled an arm over your hips, pulling you onto his lap firmly. you couldn’t breathe as you settled into him, crossing your legs tightly. your lower body was tucked away, hidden under the table, but still. you tucked a small portion of fabric between your thighs, ensuring nothing would slip. 

you didn’t say much as ethan continued to conversate with his friends, passing the silvery, skinny device around the table. 

soon, the talk turned from school and classes to typical, stuttering stoner laughing; everyone besides ethan and danny seemed to be a complete lightweight, gone after one hit of the cartridge. however, both the boys were on at least their fourth hit and still seemed relatively composed. they’d started to talk about some sort of economic study, and you’d quickly grown bored and confused. after sitting through 10 more minutes of the terminology you didn't understand, you began to wiggle around on ethan’s lap, loosening his grip on you. 

at the same moment, you and ethan both shifted in just the right way, causing one of his legs to end up between both of yours just as your hips rolled forward. delicious friction flooded your system, and you bit down hard on your lower lip, trying to stifle a moan. you fought with everything in you not to rock your body again, sensation overwhelming your impulse control. before you could do anything, one of ethan’s large hands found your hips, squeezing just enough to leave fingerprint-shaped marks on your skin. ethan knew what he’d done- you could hear the satisfaction threaded through his voice.

“you okay? what d’you need?”

you tried to steady your voice, painfully conscious of the people around you. while most of ethan’s friends were high enough that they wouldn’t notice, you knew that danny would pick up on any changes in your demeanor. you swallowed hard before answering him.

“i'm gonna go get another drink.” another gentle squeeze practically lit your skin on fire, and ethan held the pen up to you. 

“wanna try this instead?”

you weren’t going to lie- you’d been a bit jealous of the boys, not even thinking of passing the device to you. with shaky hands, you reached to accept the cartridge, but ethan had different plans. a sinful look found its way into his slitted eyes as ethan held the pen up to your lips. “go ahead.”

you could’ve passed out from the command, the look, the way that he’d started to bounce his leg. it was as if he was trying to break you- like he wanted you to give him some sort of sign that you wanted him. you did, more than anything. desire seemed to curl its way into every inch, every cell of your body, its spurs digging into your skin. 

you met ethan’s eyes deliberately as you accepted the cold metal into your mouth, inhaling deeply. you took immense pleasure in the look that crossed ethans face as you pulled away with lungs full of the hazy drug. you held your breath for as long as possible before letting the vapor drift from your lips, just as ethan and done earlier. you watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, his eyes snapping off of yours and over to danny.

“i’m gonna take y/n to get a drink. watch them, will you?” he asked, gesturing to the rest of his friends. danny just nodded, mumbling a low ‘have fun’ as ethan practically lifted you off of his lap. adrenaline coursed through each and every one of your veins and ethan laced his fingers through yours, leading you inside. 

ethan barely let the door shut before his hands were on your hips, pinning you to the wall of the small stairwell. his lips met yours roughly, and you couldn’t hold back the whimper that had been building in your throat for the past hour. you felt ethan smirk at the soft noise before he bit at your lower lip, dragging the soft flesh between his teeth. again, you let out a whine full of pleasure- he just felt so good. you let your arms circle ethans neck, one of your hands knotting in his dark hair. you pulled at the roots gently as ethan’s tongue rolled against yours, your body entirely succumbing to him.

he forced himself to pull off of your body, and you let out a small whine; you’d been waiting on this. ethan smirked, his laugh coming out dark and much raspier than usual. “don’t worry doll, i'm not done with you yet. just can't have you here.”

the words went right through you, only adding to the ache between your thighs. ethan took your hand with a profound gentleness, and dropped a soft kiss on your forehead. “before this even starts, are you sure?” 

you nodded eagerly, getting up on your tiptoes to recapture his lips, but ethan pulled back. you furrowed your eyebrows at the tall boy, confused- until he brought a hand up to your face, holding your jaw. ethan tilted your head up, forcing you to meet his eyes. “i need words, baby. are you positive? i can-”

“so sure. i promise.” you nodded at him, your eyes never leaving his. “i want you.”

ethan swore under his breath and kissed you hard before leading you up the stairs. you started to feel the effects of the drug as ethan took you from kitchen to living room, up some stairs… you lost track of all the places you’d been, allowing the weed to cloud everything in a gauzy veil. you felt good; light and somehow heavy at the same time, and you enjoyed the way that everything seemed to slow down. finally, ethan opened a door and pulled you in behind him. you realised where you were- his room. it smelled like ethan, like citrus and musk and something you could only describe as boy. 

you let out a small giggle as ethan reached for a remote, colored lights dousing the room in a sultry red glow. “setting the mood?”

quickly, you were shut up in the best possible way. ethan kissed your roughly, all teeth and tongue and hands everywhere as he backed you against one of his walls. you let yourself get lost in him, basking in the warmth of your hunger for him. one of ethan’s cold hands made its way under your shirt, the other holding your jaw in place as he bit into your bottom lip once again, making you whine. 

“feel good?” ethan asked, breathlessly. you could hear the smirk in his voice, but you couldn’t help the way your back arched at the simple question. your nails dug into his shoulder as ethan slid his thumb under the band of your bra, and he let out a rough moan, managing to undo the clasp with one hand. ethan pulled away from you long enough to rid you of your shirt, discarding your bra on the floor as well while you practically ripped his hoodie off, desperate to feel his skin against your own. he clearly wanted the same, judging by the way he wrapped an arm around your back, pulling you flesh against his chest. 

ethan managed to capture both of your wrists in one of his hands, pinning them above your head. you were unfamiliar with the feeling of being restrained, but the sensation seemed to send your heart thrumming even faster. he kissed you until your lips were sore and your knees were weak before finally dropping his forehead to yours. ethan took his chance, letting his eyes roam all over you and you watched his pupils grow larger until his eyes were practically black. “jesus fuck, y/n. you’re beautiful.”

your voice came out high and breathy as you responded. “ ‘could say the same about you.” you were practically panting, your body no longer responding to your mind as your back arched. ethan let out a hard breath. 

“do you know what you do to me?”

your eyes fluttered shut as ethan’s lips met the sensitive skin of your neck, his tongue exploring the delicate flesh. he quickly found your weak spot and focused his attention there; he let his teeth gently sink into your skin, making you gasp before using his soft tongue to soothe the spot. he repeated this process all over your neck, sucking on your flesh when he found a sweet spot. you knew that you’d be covered in purple-blue bruises, but you’d wear them proudly- that was ethan’s motivation for marking you up.

ethan trailed soft, wet kisses all the way down your neck to your collarbones, groaning at the way you pushed your chest toward him. he hesitated, but started kissing back up your neck, your jaw, back up to your lips. he released his grip on your wrist and you quickly cupped his face in your hands, kissing him with everything in you. you wanted the boy to feel the way you wanted him, and you knew he could as his lips seemed to slow, the kisses getting deeper and deeper. you lost yourself completely in ethan, unsure of where he started and you ended. you could feel his heartbeat against your own, the two thumping rapidly, almost erratic.

the two of you stayed pressed up against each other, your back firmly against the wall for a while, until ethan finally pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “bed?”

you nodded eagerly, wanting the boy all over you. the two of you stumbled, half kissing over to the mattress, falling together. ethan quickly situated himself on top of your body, caging you in between his arms. he began kissing down your body at a torturously slow pace, tracing the dark marks he’d already left with his soft tongue, driving you insane. ethan took his time working down to your breasts, finally taking one of your sensitive nubs into his mouth. you let out an almost guttural moan at the sensation, pleasure overwhelming your senses. ethan hummed at your reaction, only intensifying the feeling. you tangled a hand in his hair, the other digging into his back, leaving long, red scratches on his pale skin. 

ethan swirled his tongue around your bud, taking extreme pride in the way you let your head fall back against the mattress, moans of his name spilling from your lips. he tucked an arm under the arch of your back, pulling your body even closer to him- he didn’t want any space dividing the two of you. ethan pulled off of your puffy nipple with a soft moan, wasting no time in kissing over your chest, pulling the other into his mouth. he covered your chest in dark, deep bruises, admiring his work under the sensual glow of the red lights. “so pretty..”

you couldn’t form full sentences to respond with, just broken moans and pleads and tugs on his hair. ethan found it endearing, the way you wanted him so badly. he couldn’t help but give you what you needed.

he kisses hastily down your body leaving small lovebites here and there on your ribs, your stomach. ethan hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your skirt and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin right above the fabric. “this okay?”

“yes, i- please,” you pleaded, lifting your hips to make it easier. ethan got rid of the piece of clothing, discarding it on his bedroom floor, quickly followed by your panties. he let out a throaty moan, his eyes working over you lazily, like he had all the time in the world. he admired your body until you wriggled underneath him, needing some sort of stimulation. 

“what do you want, baby?”

“you,” you whined, desperation weaving through your voice. ethan pressed gentle, warm kisses on your hip bones, fighting a laugh. 

“i know that. what specifically?”

“fuck, ethan. anything, just touch me. please.”

“okay, okay. and you're positive this is alright?”

“yes. i’m so sure. i swe-” your words died in the back of your throat as ethan pressed his thumb to your clit, rubbing small, soft circles. “holy fuck.”

“already so worked up,” ethan mumbled, pressing kisses to your inner thighs. “this because of me?”

you were taken aback by the way your high seemed to multiply the pleasure by tens of thousands- ethan was barely touching you and you could feel your high approaching quickly. you couldn’t find the words to answer him as ethan shifted between your legs, giving himself a better view of your sex. “does that feel okay?”

a stream of swears left your lips as ethan quickened his pace, hooking one of your legs over his shoulder. “so fucking good, just like that.” the knots in your stomach continued to tighten as you balled the sheets in your fist, tugging at his hair with the other hand.

ethan pressed a kiss dangerously low on your hip, looking up at you. “can i?”

your hips bucked at the tone of his voice, and you nodded vigorously. ethan kept his eyes on yours as he ran his tongue through your folds, lapping your arousal up. he couldn’t help but groan at the taste of you, the way you pulled at his hair, putting his mouth where you wanted it before letting your head fall back onto his bed. ethan started to suck at your sensitive bud, rolling his tongue over the bundle of nerves and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.

“i- fuck- i’m close.”

he hummed, the vibrations sending you over the edge. your eyes rolled back into your head while you tugged at his hair, your orgasm completely undoing you- the high only added to the sensation, making it that much better. your hips bucked under the skillful work of his soft tongue as ethan let you ride out your high on his face. 

ethan dropped a gentle kiss on your clit before peppering your entire body with them, giggling at the way you squealed. he finally attached his lips to your neck, your jaw, back to your lips. you kissed him hard, tasting yourself off of him. finally, when your exhaustion won out you pulled away, running your hands through ethan’s fluffy hair. 

“how was that?”

you propped yourself up on your elbows, pecking ethan’s lips. “so, so good,” you mewled between heavy breaths. ethan bit down on his lower lip and smiled, pride filling his system. 

“god, you look good moaning my name. you're beautiful, you know,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. ethan looked at you with a tenderness in his eyes, placing another kiss on your lips. “think you can go again?”

ethan started trailing down your body again, not waiting for an answer. he was laser focused on pleasuring you, making you whine and whimper for him- only for him. before he could get far, though, you were grabbing at his arm and shaking your head. he flushed, peeling away from you while starting to profusely apologize, but you pressed a finger to his lips. 

“want you. inside of me,” you explained between pants, still exhausted from the first round of stimulation. ethan threw his head back, swearing. 

“jesus christ, y/n. need me that bad, baby?”

his choice of words drowned you in desire, and you were all his. “yes. please, ethan?”

he wanted to fuck you until all you could do was moan his name just like that, over and over again. before you could process what was happening ethan had his hands all over you, roaming your body as he practically drooled at the sight before him: your already fucked out body, the sweet look painting your face, begging for him. ethan could barely control himself, his words coming out as rough murmurs.

“protection? i mean, i have it.”

you bit at your lip, hard. you were on birth control, and you wanted him- all of him.

shaking your head, you explained. “birth control. we’ll be fine, if you’re comfortable.”

you jumped as ethan moved a finger to your entrance, dipping into your sex. he groaned at the way you clenched around the appendage, his cock jumping in his boxers. “want my cum inside you?”

“yes- fuck, ethan, please,” you begged, reduced to nothing. all you wanted; all you needed was him inside you, ruining your body until you couldn’t take anymore pleasure. 

“so tight,” he mumbled, lining another finger up. you bucked your hips, the sensitivity almost too much as he stretched you out, watching the way your face contorted under his influence. ethan placed a large hand low on your abdomen, applying light pressure. “if you can’t take this, you won’t be able to take me.”

you nodded, pace almost desperate for him to continue. “feels good baby. so good.”

you took note of the pleased expression that stretched over ethan’s face as you praised the boy- you were just telling the truth, but clearly he liked to hear what a good job he was doing. ethan brought his thumb up to your clit, rubbing tight circles on the bundle of nerves and you grabbed at his wrist, nails digging into skin. 

“gonna make me cum again,” you warned, but ethan only smiled at you, nodding almost condescendingly.

“wanna finish on my fingers, pretty girl?”

you wanted to say no, wait to come undone around him, but his movements felt too good. you dug your nails into his arm even harder, your other hand clawing into ethan’s soft sheets as the knots in your stomach came undone, your walls contracting around his fingers tight enough to make him moan. 

ethan let his pace slow, extending your orgasm as you practically rode his hand, crying out in absolute euphoria as he increased pressure on your clit.  unable to form words, you released your grasp on the boy’s arm, bringing your hand up to his face instead. you pulled ethan’s lips down to meet yours, whining at the feeling of his clothed cock grinding against your center.

ethan couldn’t take it anymore, quickly ridding himself of the soft sweatpants. you watched as his manhood sprung up, hitting his abdomen; the sight in and of itself enough to make you let out another bliss-filled noise. ethan let his eyes fall to yours as he stroked himself, shuddering at the heavenly friction. again, his voice came out low as he lined himself up with you.

“sure?”

far beyond words, you nodded and laced your fingers through his. 

ethan returned your grasp with a sweet squeeze, gliding the tip of his cock through your folds- coating himself in your arousal. the two of you moaned in sync; a sweet, satisfied sort of harmony. finally, ethan pushed into you slowly, gasping at the feeling. you couldn’t help the way your eyes rolled back into your head, the feeling of him inside you almost too much. 

“you okay?”

“so good,” you breathed, trying not to yelp at the feeling spreading through your lower body. ethan was well endowed- the biggest you’d ever taken- and it was an addictive sort of pain. he moved slowly, stopping a few times; allowing you to adjust around his length. when he’d bottomed out, ethan let his head fall back, groans escaping his throat.

“so fucking tiny,” he gasped, a groan cutting his statement off. “feel so good around me, gorgeous.”

you nodded at him, trying your best to meet ethan’s eyes as you praised the boy. “so fucking big- you feel so good,” you whined, your hips bucking. “want you so bad.”

a breathless laugh escaped ethan’s lungs as he maneuvered a hand behind one of your thighs, lifting your leg to hook over his shoulder. he pushed even deeper into you and black spots began to crowd the sides of your vision, the pleasure overwhelming. slowly, ethan started to pull out of you, eliciting filthy words and moans from you before he slid his length back in. 

“fucking hell, y/n. so tight,” he said, voice tipping up into a whimper at the end. he quickened his pace, the noise of sleeping skin filling the room. you could barely contain yourself, no longer fighting the stream of murmurs and swears leaving your lips as ethan continued to pump in and out of you. your next orgasm was already building, the coils tightening rapidly in your lower belly.

ethan let his hand wander down to your sensitive bud, almost coming undone at the sight of your eyes fluttering shut. you traced up his forearm, scraping at his sweet skin before knotting your fingers in his hair, tugging at the roots. 

“eyes open, baby. look at me.”

you could’ve cum then and there, the instructions only turning you on further. you forced your eyes open, meeting his as ethan sped up again. an almost animalistic noise left your throat as ethan thrusted into you roughly- you weren’t going to be able to hang on much longer. ethan felt the way your walls were clenching around him, fluttering and tightening as he increased his speed on your clit.

“close?” he asked, unable to say much more than that. your grip around him was euphoric- he was closer than he’d like to be. it hadn’t been more than 20 minutes, but with the way you were pulling at his head, almost crying in completely bliss, ethan wanted to fill you to the brim with his cum then fuck it into your sensitive pussy, overstimulating the sweet flesh.

you nodded, humming a small “mhm,” as you looked at him with wide eyes. ethan paused for a moment, shifting your leg up even higher onto his shoulder before plunging back into you. you felt the head of his cock hit a new, even more delicious spot and you became almost delirious. looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, you felt a tear crawl down your cheek.

“gonna cum, ethan-”

“fuck- me too. let go, baby.”

your entire body seemed to shake and shudder under the force of your orgasm- it hit you like a fucking train. you felt ethan’s thrusts get sloppier as he buried himself inside you, his head dropping to the crook of your neck. he whimpered as he shot his cum deep into your pussy, the sensation all consuming. the two of you stayed like that for a while- riding out your highs with each other, rough moans turned to honey-sweet mewls. 

as your heart rate started to come down, you peppered the boy's face with soft, careless kisses: ones that he gladly returned. ethan finally found your lips, pressing tender, long kisses to the swollen skin. 

“you’re a fucking god,” you murmured, stressing the word as ethan’s face flushed even hotter than it already had been.

“that,” he huffed, breathing still hard and uneven, “would be you.”

you giggled at the statement, your voice hitching as ethan slowly pulled out of you. you could feel a mixture of him and you spill out, the substance flowing over your things as ethan kissed down your body, taking in the sight between your legs. 

“so pretty, baby,” he whispered, sinking a long finger into your pussy. your whole body spasmed at the feeling, completely overstimulated. ethan pulled out of you softly, watching the way his cum seemed to spill out of you endlessly. he placed small, delicate kisses to the marks he’d left covering your thighs, admiring his work. “can i keep you here for the night?” he asked, eyes turning affectionate.

you nodded at the boy as he came back up to meet your lips, then your forehead. as you settled onto his chest, drawing lazy patterns on his skin, ethan's voice seemed to return to normal.

“such a good girl.”

[pi-cat000]

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (5)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters:  Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

START  / RREV / NEXT

Ms Iroi always tries to engage him in conversation whenever she comes in, asking questions and chatting to herself in a fruitless attempt at helping him recover his 'lost' memories. Most of the time, Kakashi is indifferent to her presence and always has a magazine handy as an excuse not to talk.

Today, Iroi is in a particularly good mood, humming to herself, greeting him with an energetic, “How are you doing today!”

Kakashi grunts a noncommittal response which doesn’t do much to discourage the woman’s good mood as she runs through a check-up routine.  

“You should try watching U.A’s sports festival tomorrow. I hear it’s going to be particularly spectacular this year,” she says as she pulls the blinds on Kakashi's window, blocking out the distant city lights. 

U.A? he recognises the name. Kakashi glances up over the pages of HERO!! MONTHLY BREAKDOWN. It is the third time he has read this issue.

“You know, since you like reading those hero magazines, I figured you would be interested in watching the ‘next generation of heroes’ debut,” she continues, noting his attention, “U.A always puts on a good show.”

Kakashi frowns. The problem with his amnesia cover story is that he is still trying to figure out what he can get away with not remembering. So far the doctor’s seem content to chalk up the disappearance of his long term memories to a ‘quirk’ accident but were always more concerned when he failed to recall basic factual information. Something to do with different parts of the brain being responsible for different types of information.

 “Watch how?” He settles on asking. U.A. was supposed to be a hero-training academy so whatever this ‘sports festival’ was was worth checking out. 

“Oh,” Iori pauses to think, “I, ah, think channel 2 with be covering it?” she hesitates, “You know what. I’ll look it up and let you know later. Sorry, I can’t carry my phone around with me while on shift.”

“Thank you.” He smiles and makes a show of returning to his magazine to dissuade further conversation.

Later the same evening, just before the end of the evening shift, Iori pokes her head into his room again. She is out of uniform, long hair untired, waving to catch his attention.

“The coverage is on channel 2 and starts at 11am,” She holds up her portable communication devise like it means something.  It probably did mean something. The frequency by which people checked them suggested it had a function beyond basic communication. He has held off attempting to steal one because, unlike pens, people would notice and care if one went missing.  

“Have fun watching! Oh… also, I forgot to ask…”

Kakashi raises a brow.

“I have a bunch of old gossip magazines. Mum used to read them all the time and there are a few hero-themed ones in the mix. I can bring them in if you want more stuff to read.” 

“If you want.” Iori must have noticed him re-reading the magazines. 

"I'll bring them on Friday!"

Iori had been unsubtly hinting that Kakashi might have had a history in heroics. It definitely wasn’t because reading information on a page just made sense when compared to the barrage of conflicting reports the television gave him. A few weeks with only the television as his information source has him writing off most of its information as useless or propaganda.  

…

...

“HEELLLOOOOO, LISTENERS!”

Kakashi stares dully as the video footage, which had been giving him a bird’s eye view of a positively massive stadium, changes to a sweeping shot of what must be thousands of people crammed into seats. It almost makes him claustrophobic just watching it.

“WELLCOME TO OUR ANNUAL U.A. SPORTS FESTIVAL! THE HIGH SCHOOL ADOLESCENT RODEO YOU ALL LOVE TO WATCH. CAN A GET A ‘OH YEAH!’”

As if of one mind, thousands of people leap to their feet screaming. The camera angle changes again to show a grinning blond-haired man, seated at a desk and pointing enthusiastically at the camera. All these shot changes are going to give him a headache. Kakashi is already having reservations watching this and its only10 minutes.

“Thank you! You’re an AMAZING audience!”

 It almost reminds him of the final Chunin Exam stages -if the Chunin exams had had three times the audience - which always involved some sort of combat display.  There hadn’t been any public Chunin Exams recently for reasons such as a large portion of Konoha being flattened by Pein.

“FIRST UP ARE OUR FIRST-YEAR EVENTS! And what an exciting round of events they are, perfect for debuting our newest students! Give us a shout so they can feel your support!”

Another loud shot as thousands of people yelled in unison.

“Come on! Louder than that! These are your future Heroes I’m talking about! SHOW THEM SOME LOVE!”

More yelling. Kakashi turns down the volume.

“But! Wait just a minute!! We're not only here for our Hero students! As I'm sure you all know, behind every great hero is a hardworking support team! GIVE IT UP FOR our Support, Management and General departments who are also competing for a chance to face off in the finals!”

Kakashi sighs. He is getting the sense that this might be more for entertainment than utility purposes, conforming to the general trend of Hero-related stuff being flashy. Different from the Chunin exam which had deadly consequences if not taken seriously.

“Hey. Hey! HERE THEY COME NOW! OUR STUDENTS PARTICIPATING IN THE FIRST YEAR STAGE!”

What follows is an overly dramatized race where the only thing of interest to him are the obstacle types, including robots, - mobile mechanical weapons of some sort that produced a lot of environmental damage but were taken down fairly easily- and explosive devices that acted a lot like explosive tags. Then there was a team elimination round and one-on-one tournament fights after which the coverage shifts to the second year and third year stages.

He uncovers the sharingun only to discover that, while its memorisation function worked fine, the part that translated the movements into muscle memory felt off. Perhaps, the replication and copying component of the eye didn’t work when viewing a technique through a screen rather than in person. Interesting. As there wasn't anything particularly impressive technique-wise during the events he counts the new information as a net gain. 

The student-heroes – he is not sure if there is an official term for a hero in training – barely match Konoha’s academy standard in their taijutsu and physical conditioning though there was marked improvement between first, second and third-year groups. These students were what...between 14-18 years old...and yet most had the skill level of an academy  students and fresh genuin with only a few notable exceptions?

Sure, there were - honestly ridiculous- versatile and powerful bloodline abilities being thrown around like nothing, but ninjutsu techniques only took a shinobi so far without a strong base to work from. He shakes his head, reminding himself that these kids - because what else did you call combatants who hadn’t graduated yet- weren’t shinobi in training and would be policing civilians and engaging ��Villains’ of similar skill levels. It was obvious that the students favoured non-lethal takedown methods and put little to no thought into stealth and misdirection during fights. 

Different words…different priorities. 

As Kakashi has yet to see any evidence that the country, Japan, was at war with another he thinks the skill level displayed might be serviceable. There were also no major conflicts between the country’s large cities over farmland, water sources and the like. Obviously, this place had sorted out the resource and distribution issues usually encountered when supporting such large populations. Or, who knows, maybe everything on the television was a carefully constructed lie to lull people into complacency.

Now he has seen an example of hero-students, he better understands the low combat ability demonstrated by the police. It also gives incite into the blurry recordings of Hero/Villain confrontations which played on repeat across the various ‘news’ reports. They all tended to hover around Chunin or maybe Special Jounin in terms of skill. He knows generalisations are dangerous so, until he saw the combat in person, he would exercise his usual level of caution. There were bound to be outliers after all-the impressive brute strength of the number one hero comes to mind- and there was no telling what advantages a bloodline ability might provide. Absently, he makes testing the susceptibly of people without chakra to genjustu as something to figure out sooner rather than later.

He sighs. This is why he hated the television. Whenever he watched it, he came away increasingly confused, with more questions than he had answers. Not to mention anything useful being constantly interrupted with information detailing one of the many products that he could apparently buy here. It irritated him to no end. 

...

...

The chakra collecting seal is ready before the week is out. Mostly ready...it was ready enough.

Kakashi returns to the roof. Sitting cross-legged, back against the stairway entrance, he works his way through the 100 or so pens, cracking them open and tapping out ink into a large bowl, stolen -like the pens -from hospital staff.

The mix of black, blue and red ink is gluggy, forcing him to add water to thin the solution out. Once satisfied he pulls out an appropriated scalpel – one of a growing collection hidden alongside his pens because having a stash of weapons is never a bad thing- pricking his middle finger, watching the blood drip and curdle with the mixture. The blood would be absorbed into the ink, allowing it to conduct chakra. He mixes everything with pair of disposable chopsticks, taking care not to spill it on the ground or stain his hands.

The whole process reminds him of other insistences where he had improvised fuinjutsu ink in the field. The last time being during his final Anbu missions where he had created a body storage scroll from scratch after unexpectedly losing a squad mate on what should have been a simple intel retrieval mission. Not a particularly fond memory but a memory he was stuck with.

Since his demotion to Jonin-sensei there had been fewer of those sorts of missions. Not that being a Jonin-sensei had been easy – considering all his students had gone off to find other teachers he didn't even think he had been particularly good at it - bringing with it its own special brand of stress, culminating in a stint as Hokage, a fourth war and him stuck here. He is pretty sure his experiences aren't universal. Team 7 was just cursed to fail in increasingly spectacular ways.

He lets out a heavy sigh, leaving his airways open to a sudden gust of cold wind which carries the scent of cleaning chemicals from the hospital and oil from the road straight up his nose. He exhales forcefully and mentally bumps finding a face mask up his list of priorities. It would be good for hiding his features and dulling the artificial smells of a city housing over a million people.

The sound of wind whistling around the building almost blocks out the echo of feet in the stairway, approaching his location. In one smooth motion, Kakashi stands pushing the remaining broken pen back into the vent, nudging the cover back in place with his foot. Carefully he holds the bowl of ink in his injured arm and a scalpel in the other. Kakashi steps back against the entrance so the outward opening door would hide him from whoever came out.

A crying kid comes barrelling through the door.

Well, not completely crying, more like sniffing loudly, eyes all shiny. He even recognises the kid from the U.A combat demonstration, as improbable as that was. It is the first year hero student with the speed-enhancing ability which, seeing him up close, probably had something to do with the strange growths coming out of his caff muscles. High speed movement put enormous strain on the body so he could reasonably conclude that the kid was physically resilient to acceleration stress and similar forces. Not resilient to stabbing though....

Kakashi forces himself to relax, his scalpel lowering ever so slightly. Lucky he had heard the kid coming or he might have accidentally hurt him. A few weeks of reduced sleep coupled with a lot of time to ruminate on past missions and failures has put him on edge. This was exactly why he disliked taking extended breaks. 

Maybe, Kakashi should start relocking the stairway if he was planning to make regular trips up here because the young male probably hadn’t had the roof in mind as a destination. Kakashi knows from experience that, unless you were injured or a member of staff, there were few good reasons to wander around a hospital at odd hours.

With the hero-student distracted sniffling into his arm, Kakashi slips around the door and back down the stairs. He hadn’t planned on applying the seal on the roof anyway. Too exposed to the elements and the concrete was too rough for the delicate line work.

He continues mixing while he walks, having mentally mapped the hospital well enough to know which hallways to use and which to avoid. There is a surgeon with some sort of heat-sensing vision who works late most nights that he must be careful around and a nurse with a weak proximity based empathic ability working in paediatrics. Both obstacles force him to take a meandering detour on his way to the ground floor and  the larger shower blocks which housed  cubicles the size of small rooms. Enough smooth floorspace for the expanded seal design and easy to clean afterwards. He supposes he is lucky, some complicated fuinjutsu required several meters worth of floor space. The containment on Saskue’s cursed seal comes to mind and he is glad that this seal is infinity smaller.

Not one to waste time knowing that nurses and patients regularly used the space even this late in the evening, he immediately slips into a cubicle upon arrival. Flopping onto the floor he pulls out the paintbrush he had had scour the hospital for and eventually to steal from the children’s ward. Carefully, he begins the slow process of application.

…

…

The final seal design is circular, about the size of his splayed hand, positioned on his uninjured shoulder just above where his Anbu seal had previously sat. The sleepwear provided by the hospital had sleeves that extend just past his bicep. It hid the design, for the most part. The final visible seal is a bit bigger than he had predicted or planned for. If this were a proper infiltration mission, where blowing his cover came at the price of death, he would be in big trouble. If this were a proper mission, he would have waited before applying this. An unnecessary risk. He itches the back of his head, turning from where he is craning his neck to see the seal, gathering up his supplies to be thrown in one of the hospital’s many rubbish bins. Kakashi lets out a breath. Maybe, this whole ‘trapped in a different world’ thing is affecting him more than he was willing to admit and making him sloppy.

He pulls down the sleeve so it mostly hides the design. Not like the doctors here would recognise the significance of fuinjutsu, he reminds himself, even if their questions would be annoying to deflect.

He pumps chakra into the seal and a jolt akin to lightning runs down his limb. It activates without issue and Kakashi grimaces as his chakra is slowly drained and collected. The rate of the drain is pathetically slow. Three years too slow. But, between this and his sharingan - which was always active and draining chakra- he can’t risk making it quicker. Despite the relatively low-level threats around him, Kakashi is, first and foremost, a Jonin in an unknown territory who is already taking risks simply making and applying the seal. He can’t afford to impair himself with poor chakra management on top of everything else.

Kakashi pops his head out of the cubical, scanning the shower block. Nothing of note has changed and he darts out, intent on returning to his room. He is tired and it would be a long, tiresome week as his body adjusted to the strain as well.

NEXT  

[nellpire]

[2109xx] Nell - Dazed September Issue 2021 Interview (translation)

Q: Four years since we last met, now Dazed is greeting you again like this. As a "Nell kid" who grew up listening to your music, speaking to the four of you feels surreal. What's new with you? Jaekyung: We've been continuously working on our new album.  Jongwan: We've worked on it for about a year and a half and finally concluded our work the day before yesterday. Like COVID, we worked non-stop and immersed ourselves in composing.

Q: When will we get to meet it? Jongwan: Looks like it'll be somewhere between the 1st and the 3rd of September. 

Q: I heard you're also in the midst of shooting a Nell documentary.  Jongwan: We've put it off for the moment.  Junghoon: There are too many variables in today's world.

Q: It's the same for all of Dazed's issues, there's no telling at all what will happen. And the same goes for who will sing Nell's masterpieces next. The band Gift did a remake of Time Spent Walking Through Memories not long ago. That's rare for them. Jongwan: It was a first for them as a band. We're well aware of their talent as we've been watching them on YouTube. We've wished they would play a song of ours.  Jaewon: We're always keeping an eye on indie bands, and Gift stood out among those hoobaes. We were very grateful when they told us they were singing our song. 

Q: Dazed readers in their late teens and early 20s remember that song so clearly too. Let's go back to that era of Nell. Do you remember each other's youth?  Jaekyung: It's so long ago that it's hard to recall (laughter). We've talked about this many times already, but one of Jaewon's aliases in elementary school was "jjang". We were close friends, played guitar and drums. Jongwan was a kid who sang and played basketball well (laughter). Jongwan: We were just students who liked music. We wanted to learn to play instruments and played in school bands. Looking back now, we've been making music for a long time, but I doubt anyone thought we'd make it this far. When we were high school students all we wanted was to hurry up and graduate, and when we were in our 20s we just didn't want to turn 30… It was that kind of common youth.  Jaewon: When I think about high school student Junghoon, he really listened to music a lot, and he still does. I remember he always had earphones or a headset on.  Junghoon: (laughter) The headset was to look cool. I loved winter back in my school days. There's the winter jackets, and you get to wear long sleeves. Then you can wear the earphone cable inside your clothes and out through your sleeve. So in class I'd always lean my head in my hand to listen to music. Jaewon: Jaekyung was really tall back then too, and he was always running or playing basketball. 

Q: The song "See you in five" from your "Colors in Black" album echoes in my mind. "Is my forced composure / fooling anyone? Let's meet in that place we used to go / If we keep this up / we won't see each other much before we die". I've suddenly reached an age where I can relate deeply to those words.  Jaekyung: You might start a family as you grow older, and as the lines between you and your friends' lives become clearer in a whole new way, you naturally stop hanging out as much. In our 20s, 15 or so of us would gather and see each other almost every day, but now it's hard to meet up even once a year. I was doubtful when I read Jongwan's lyrics for the first time; "will we really end up like that?", but we really did. If we didn't have social media, maybe we would be strangers by now.  Junghoon: And COVID only amplified that. 

Q: I can relate. The fact that, supported by music, the connecting link between the four of you has remained unsevered for 20 years and you've managed to maintain your relationship is truly remarkable. What do the four of you talk about when you gather?  Jongwan: It hasn't changed much. Current matters, events of the world. Things we found fun as kids. And when we work, music talk. To be honest, there's never enough time to talk about that alone (laughter). Jaekyung: When we wrapped up our new album not long ago, we had an after-party and talked a bit about the next album, too. Jaewon: We watch foreign artists' festival performances and envy them, and talk about past concerts.  Jongwan: Maybe it's because we've been together for so long that we still have so much to talk about even in these times. Because we've spent so much longer without COVID than with it. For example, until the year before we last we always played festivals together, et cetera, so the volume of memories we share together is so enormous that we keep having new things to talk about, even in these past 1~2 years. Because talking about the past isn't someone else's stories, but things all four of us can share on a deep level.

Q: Being unable to stand on stage as a band musician and being unable to gather people has to be a deadly thing. The fans must be more disappointed than they can express.  Jongwan: It's a given, but the fans are very disappointed. And I don't need to say anything about how we feel. Moreover we're not very good at communicating; we've always seen our fans through albums and concerts, so we feel even more apologetic now. 

Q: The Nell fandom and its love is as deep and profound as the amount of time they've spent with you. Is there a fan that stands out in your memory?  Jongwan: There are two. One of them is a person we always mention in times like these. This happened when we were all in our late 20s. Up until that point, the reason why we made music was very simple: Expressing ourselves. 100% for our own satisfaction. One person who felt very lost listened to that music of ours and told us this: "Living is so hard, but I gained comfort by listening to Nell's music. I found hope." It can be seen as something fans just say, but at the time it approached us in a heavy way. It was the first time we realized our music can have a positive influence on a stranger's life. It was also the first time we felt proud of something other than expressing ourselves. The second one is from 1~2 years ago, so comparatively recent. Someone collected all of our physical releases, CDs, DVDs and so on, framed it and sent it to us. Everything including the first albums we released as an underground indie band as well as our overseas releases. They sent it to us anonymously so we don't know who they are, but when we received it and held it, it was… what should I say? Emotional. Jaekyung: I too remember the moment I first saw it. It shone like the discography commemorations they hang in famous overseas studios. Albums are really important to us. That's what has let us promote and meet the fans at concerts for the last 20 years. How could we ever forget such a heartfelt gift? We put it up for display in our studio.  Jongwan: Since the four of us meet and work every day, we can't document our 20s and 30s and so we're not aware of the passage of time. But those albums have the dates written in chronological order. Looking at it makes us realize that it's possible to summarize someone's 20-year history like that, from our late teens to our current 40-year-old selves, and it causes this temporary hollow feeling, but it also makes us look at our fans and the members, who've spent all that time together, in a different way. Because this is clearly not an experience everyone gets to have. So that gift was very touching. And we're also really curious who sent it. 

Q: Is the essence of Nell's music still a skepticism, distrust of society or the world? Jongwan: There's still skepticism. I don't think I've ever felt this world is a good place to live. Life isn't always easy or happy, but I don't think that's a bad thing. 

Q: How so? Jongwan: I think that's nature. Even two puppies will crave more love from their owner and be jealous of each other. Would the world humans live in be extreme? I'm the type to believe human nature is inherently bad, so I think it's an issue of living while being pestered by other people and trying to find a balance within that. So having a hard time and being skeptical is a destiny we can't escape. If you think this is bad, even the meaning of life becomes something negative. It's important to find precious, meaningful things even within that, and humans being able to do that is in my opinion something incredibly brave. But as for distrust, it's not something we always channel. The more detailed theme changes with each album. 

Q: The analogy Jongwan made one time about Nell's music was very memorable to me: that Nell's music isn't a fancy restaurant, but a local place.  Jongwan: On the one hand there's fine dining where you can enjoy perfect dishes, plating and interior design for a high price, and on the other there are local places frequented by people in the neighborhood and others who find it by word of mouth, that gives people small happinesses. Old restaurants you can find anywhere on the globe. There's clearly something you can only find in places like those, and I don't think that's far off from our direction. We're not uninterested in making it big and making our name famous, but from our perspective we're putting out music we can be proud of and we have people who respect that music. If we have people who gain comfort and happiness by listening to our music, that's meaningful enough in itself.

Q: I hope more people in Korea will realize the charm of local places and that we'll gain more of such bands and musicians. Not for nothing, Nell is like a lighthouse to so many new bands and young musicians. What would you like to say to them?  Jaekyung: That if you're a band, you should try to let go of your personal greed to the best of your abilities. It's not like there was never any conflict between us four, but I want to ask you to think about whether those kinds of quarrels are important in making good music.  Jongwan: "All in." It's far from easy, going all in. Not just in music; it's difficult to maintain the things you like in any field. 

Q: By "all in", do you mean complete and total immersion? Jongwan: Making it the top priority in your life. I think if you make it even priority 1.5, you have almost no chance of succeeding. It has to be your top priority, so if it's not #1 for you it might not be worth it. You have to endure those difficulties, and if it's not your favorite thing, if it's not your #1 priority, I don't think you'll have reason to endure. There are people who are simply geniuses too, but I'm not one of them. I've seen so many cases where people thought they were all in, but they weren't really. If you want to go all in, then don't look back, don't think of anything else and throw yourself into it. Then someday something right for you will find its way to you, like a gift. 

Q: No less than 22 years. The reason why Nell exists now is because the four of you believed in the power of music. What do you each think is the power of music? Jaewon: Empathy and comfort. There are times when musicians are comforted by their own music. Even if you don't feel 100% connected to the listener, even if you're just sharing the edge of your emotions, I think that's the clear power of music. Jaekyung: For musicians, the moments of making music are the most enjoyable, because nothing else can bring the same emotions. This might sound obvious too, but music needs no special explanation. Even if our languages, sentiments and ethnicities are different, music always speaks for itself. The power of music is something transcendental that all humans can enjoy and have in common. Junghoon: To sound a bit juvenile, music has a power that explodes momentarily. The kind of power that turns anyone into the main character of a movie. If I listen to music that amplifies my emotions when I'm feeling down, I can become sadder than any character in any movie. Some music gives you more energy than the main character in a high teen movie, other music turns introverted and passive people into rebels.  Jongwan: Music can be the strength that keeps people living. An acquaintance's child was very sick with late stage leukemia. When their condition got worse, they were asked if they had one wish, and they said they wanted to meet us. I teared up when I heard about that. It made me think that music can sometimes be a source of incomprehensible strength that makes us want to live the time we have left. Of course, I'm not saying we make that kind of music (laughter). But it's because we believe that music has that potential and worth that we continue to make music even when we're at our wit's end. 

Feel free to use, but please credit Nellpire.

[theanxiousstudentblog]

What I've learned from the first year of university: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Three years later than expected, I finished my first year of university. At first, admittedly, it didn't feel like much; I submitted my final assignment, logged off of my student account, and went to watch the new series of The Real Housewives. It wasn't until a few weeks had passed that I was finally hit with how much this milestone meant to me and all the emotions that came with finally getting through the first academic year as a university student. This may not seem like a big achievement to some (I remember how in sixth form we were always made to believe that the first year of university was a piece of cake and way easier than A-levels) but, for me, it has been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs. These emotions and thoughts are what have inspired me to write this post, specifically the feeling that university can be very very different from what you expect.

How I got here.

When I was younger, one of my sole dreams was to go to university. This may have seemed odd to some as I suffered from extreme anxiety when I was younger and actually refused to go to school between the ages of 7 and 9. However, it was never the academic side of schooling that worried me but the social side and being away from my family. I loved learning and I knew that I wanted to take my academic career to the highest possible level I could. The idea that I could pick any subject that I was interested in and do a whole course solely centered on teaching me as much as I could absorb was infatuating to me. It was for this reason that I spent so much effort making sure that I achieved good grades, despite my time off. I had my sights set on a prestigious university in London and in 2018 I received an offer to study there. However, instead of feeling excited about my future, I was engulfed with a feeling of dread. Unfortunately, due to events in my private life, my anxiety which had previously been kept under control by CBT and medication began to skyrocket. I would later learn that I developed complex PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) during this time. For the sake of keeping this blog post to a somewhat reasonable length, I will keep this account brief by saying that these difficulties eventually led to me pulling out of the London university and I decided to go to a local uni closer to home after taking a year off for my mental health (for a more detailed account you can look at one of my previous IG posts published 24/05/20).

Expectations vs...

I was excited for what awaited me at my local university; it was close enough to see my family whenever I wanted but still gave me the independence that I felt I needed to grow. Moving day came and went and it seemed to be going pretty smoothly, albeit some hiccups that came with my anxiety. It is important to note that I gave the university's wellbeing service a heads-up about my conditions before moving in so, at first, I felt confident that if I had any issues they would be able to work through them with me. However, over the next couple of weeks, my anxiety grew and grew, finally reaching its peak when my housemate turned around to me and told me that I needed to shut it about my mental health issues and stop hanging out with her. This triggered a major episode in my PTSD and I suddenly felt like I was spiraling out of control. However, despite my attendance beginning to drop and the multiple times I was having to leave lectures early due to panic attacks, I still sustained a level of confidence that my university would be able to give me the reasonable adjustments that the wellbeing team had spoken to me about before starting the term. Sure, they hadn't got back to my emails with any tangible support in weeks, but they couldn't just leave me like this...could they? All throughout my schooling, I was made to believe that educational settings were environments where any appetite to learn was nurtured and fed; education meant an opportunity to achieve anything you worked hard enough for, despite your background, disability, or start in life. Wouldn't universities be the ultimate conceptualization of this meritocracy?

Reality

Unfortunately, this vision would be quickly shattered by the stark reality of my treatment by my head of department and the well-being team. I go into more detail about this treatment in the IG post mentioned previously, but in summary I was given two choices: I get my attendance back to 100% with no support/reasonable adjustments from the university, or I leave/defer until I was "better". There was no comprehension from the uni that this wouldn't have a definable recovery date; I've been dealing with long-term mental illness since I was a child and it is something I've learned to live with alongside the appropriate support. To wait until I was "better" would potentially mean waiting forever. On top of that, I went out of my way to prove to my department that I was keeping up with my work and had achieved top marks on the most recent assignment but little recognition was given to my current grades. From the weeks since I started at university I'd met multiple people who had little passion in their subject or who were just at university because they thought it was what they should do. No hate to these people (I think the pressure young people face to go to university is a whole 'nother issue in itself) but I couldn't help but compare myself to them. The university didn't care that they had a whole student population of disillusioned young people who were indifferent to their academic fields but drew the line at a motivated student who suffered from mental illness. It became clear this wasn't an environment for people like me who were simply viewed as a wrench in the works. In December 2019, I was given no other option but to drop out of my university.

Starting again and the lessons I have learned

What was the worst blow to my mental health? Being kicked out because of my mental health...Having to leave university was a massive blow to my self-esteem and I began to catastrophize what that meant for my future. Luckily I had my family for support and my mum pushed me to look into the Open University, an institution based on distance learning. I enrolled part-time for the start of February (unfortunately I had missed the cohort to start full-time) and decided to focus on my therapy. This actually worked out great for me as in 2020 I was diagnosed with PTSD and started EMDR so being a part-time student gave me enough space to process the emotions that came up in my treatment. The Open University has been so helpful in making sure my needs are met and I have been so grateful to finally find an inclusive learning environment. It is definitely not how I planned to be experiencing university and I still do feel some disappointment in not getting the full "student experience" but it has also taught me some valuable lessons and given me a new insight into how far our education system still needs to go. These are the things I have learned:

Education isn't about degrees or academic prestige. Education is about a person's desire to learn, whether that be through books or the sheer act of being. Everyone requires different conditions to which they need to learn and thrive, and unfortunately, many academic institutions tend to expect us all to be cut from the same cloth. Despite this, no one can take away your passion to learn, and as long as you're living, you are learning.

There can be no equality without equity. The truth is people enter schooling from all different backgrounds and circumstances and it is not enough for institutions to treat everyone the same. In terms of mental health, many people are quick to say they recognise that mental illness can be just as debilitating as physical illness however until they put the actions and policies into place to make environments more tolerant and accessible then their words mean nothing. This means taking the time to talk to individual students about what they require and realise that the most important thing that a university can do is create a place where EVERYONE can learn. Schooling creates the foundations on which the future of our society is built and the fact that inclusion is barely making it on the blueprint is scary to me.

COVID has shown that in this digital age, attendance ISN'T everything. If only I could go back to that final meeting with my head of department and tell him that in a few months time everyone's attendance would be at 0%! Seriously though, this is a wake-up call to how simple accessibility can be if you just invest in a good digital learning platform that allows for people who can't attend in person to still be included.

You can be an academic and still put your mental health first. Despite what my first university led me to believe, my time at the OU has shown me that you do not have to sacrifice one over another. In fact, it has shown me that my mental health recovery and student journey can work hand-in-hand, encouraging each other along.

But most importantly...

It has shown me that despite the pressure to make your university years fit into a nice, neat package of fun, good grades, and self-enlightenment, it most likely won't happen like that. That's okay, let it go and keep moving.

[honey-makki]

Irreconcilable

Characters: Asahi Azumane X GN!Reader

Summary: Asahi’s mental health can be debilitating sometimes. Taking a toll on himself and relationships with others, but how far will they go to help him?

Warnings: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts

Song: this is me trying- taylor swift

 Genre: angst/comfort

Count: 2k

A/N: please head the warnings. this discusses and is an explicit portrayl of anxiety and depression with references to suicidal thoughts. it isn’t “fun” but nevertheless i think its good. at least it felt good to write,

Asahi hasn’t left his bed yet today, rather listening to the rain and staring up at the ceiling, wondering how long it’ll be before he can fall asleep again. This isn’t an uncommon situation for him, his figure shrouded in darkness and enveloped by the blankets on his bed.  The occasional buzz of his phone goes unnoticed. 

The darkness of the room shifts throughout the day, casting heavier shadows on his bed in the afternoon, shadows that he can feel the weight of on his chest. They mirror the heavy feeling in his heart and the discontent in his head. Would sorry have made any difference? It’s just a word, a word I would have struggled to even say.

The passage of time seems like its just a theoretical concept until the gnawing pain of hunger starts to peek through. He’s not hungry per se, but his body is telling him that three days without eating is way too long. The tinge of pain is a welcome feeling, no matter how fleeting.

It would still be a few hours before Asahi made his way to the kitchen, long after his flatmates are asleep, hoping to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. There isn’t a reason he can articulate for the way he looks, hair messy and unwashed, deep circles under his eyes despite sleeping most of the time, and his thinning frame drawing in his seemingly oversized old volleyball jacket.

He doesn’t even think he would try to come up with an excuse should they see him, the effort seeming monumental for little to no reward. He’s gotten to the point where he isn’t hiding it, any actions to make it easier to deal with, like using the kitchen sparingly and only at odd hours, are just due to convenience not fear of response. 

Holding a bowl of cheese puffs and a long-forgotten packet of Takenoko No Sato Asahi makes his way back to his room, each footstep silent. Sitting in his desk chair he pops something in his mouth, not really sure if it was sweet or savory because to him they all taste the same, something akin to cardboard, or wood chips uncomfortably dry in his mouth. 

The milk carton he grabbed out of the fridge doesn’t taste much better. It feels thick, so much so that he isn’t sure he will be able to swallow (or stomach) it. He might as well be drinking a bottle of unscented lotion, and even then that might be better. 

He isn’t sure how long has passed since he keeps zoning out, but the bowl of leftover puffs look about as appetizing as styrofoam peanuts, and he knows that if he doesn’t get them out fo his room, he might be sick. Being sick is a lot more effort than sneaking to the kitchen, that is as long as it’s late. 

He finally checks his phone after what has been, hours? A day? Maybe three days? It’s not the brightness of the screen that hurts, or the way all the notifications make his heart race, its the background picture that makes it nye impossible to use. Its you.

Seeing your smiling face next to his, he recognizes every single square millimeter of your face, long ago committed to memory. He could paint it blindfolded if he needed to, but the person next to you? He doesn’t see himself looking back. The clear skin, the glow, the beaming smile, the light in his eyes. Maybe its liveliness, maybe its adoration, maybe its gratitude, but regardless, he doesn’t retain nor deserves any of those emotions. 

It’s his fault he’s here alone in his room staring at a bug climbing the wall. step. step. step. Each leg of the ant moving in unison, carrying it to some future that it can imagine. How depressing is it that an ant has a brighter future than I do? Every second he spends looking at the ant is one less second he is being drawn deeper into the tumultuous whirlpool of dread in his head. 

The buzz of his phone clacks against the ceramic bowl, discordant in the otherwise silent room. The noise acts as a life preserver he feels oddly obligated to take out of the water, looking down to see your name across the screen.  For the second time today, he feels something, earlier it was clearly defined and compartmentalized hunger, now? It’s a ceaseless swirl of resigned hopelessness, despair, anxiety, irritation, and a deep sense of being unworthy of all of these feelings. 

Its easier when he isn’t reminded of you.

He doesn’t plan on responding to your simple ‘hey.’but the follow up of ‘dai said you aren’t well, let’s talk’ still everything but his mind. He can’t breathe in, he can’t move his thumbs to lock his phone or reply to you, all he can do is think about is how this could only go horribly wrong, but that you cared, at least cared enough about him to check-in. Even after everything he did.

Asahi: We can talk on the phone later I guess, y/n

Y/N: i’ll be over tonight at 7, i still have a key.

7pm. That’s 6 hours away according to his phone. The concept of time mattering feels foreign, should he nap? Take a shower? How long are normal showers? Should he clean his room? Does his room even need to be cleaned? Wash his sheets? Before long he finds himself on the floor, head in his hands with tears streaming down his face. He doesn’t recall getting there or starting to cry, it feels like the tears have always been there, each tear track carving out a trail in his skin, creating invisible canyons. They’re always there, maybe invisible or dry, but the tear tracks are still there. 

The faint thud of his pulse ringing in his head is one of the only things his dulled sense can take in. he can’t place if he’s developed a migraine and the thud is twangs of pain or if he’s just, not here. Living what can only be described as the inverse of an out of body experience, everything else around him fading out into black, leaving him alone in an infinite black universe.

The weight of something on his head brings him back to earth. His head leans up and out of his peripheral sees your knees as you sit on his bed. A small whine leaves his throat as you begin to scratch and massage his scalp. Asahi can’t remember the last time he was touched by another person, and he doesn’t know how he lived so long without it. Your fingers are massaging fatigue out of his bones, undoing tension he’s caring in his shoulders. 

It’s illogical that the light touches from each of your fingertips on his scalp can undo so much damage to his body, but that’s a skill you honed over time, and you can visibly see him become grounded. 

“Asahi you know I can’t keep doing this. I would do this every day for the rest of my life if asked because I know it helps, but I hate seeing you like this. I’m scared that one day I’m going--” your chocked sobs are finally audible enough for him to perceive, “that you are gonna be too far gone. I wouldn’t be able to take that Asahi. Life without you is hard enough, I don’t want to imagine a world without you.”

He knew his mental health issues affected you, its the whole reason he left you in the first place, feeling guilty for you having to take care of him and him not making any progress. But he didn’t realize how scared you were. That he might just wither away, or suddenly not be here anymore. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t thought about it more than once, but never taking any tangible steps forward. 

He still hasn’t said anything, but after a few minutes of you both crying, he just nods his head. You aren’t exactly sure what that means, but his voice croaks out, “help. I’ll get help.” The admission wasn’t something you expected but the hoarseness of his voice from crying or nonuse makes it all the more real. That maybe you were right to worry, and you were right to set this ultimatum. 

A few hours later, you leave Asahi’s apartment, he fell asleep after you helped him bathe and changed his sheets. You left phone numbers of multiple psychologists and therapists, and an offer that you would make an appointment if he couldn’t find the willpower to do so. You have a cup of tea with Daichi before you leave, telling him about Asahi wanting to get help. You ask him to try to make sure that Asahi is doing at least the bare minimum or eating real food once a day and showering. Small steps eventually add up to a healthier person.

Months pass, where you and Asahi exchange a few text messages, detailing about he found a therapist, and his journey to find a medication that made him feel better and not worse. The conversations are long, but they always leave you hopeful about his progress.

You expected the knock on the door to be your take out but instead are looking at the chest of a much taller man. You look up to see Asahi’s face, a nervous smile looking down at you. His skin looks healthier, not as pallid or marred with deep sleeplessness, his hair is up in a bun, but you can see how much healthier it looks. The most notable change is that you can see light in his eyes. There’s something in there, hope maybe or just contentment with his growth. But there’s something, something that he made on his own and can hold onto.

Sure there are still signs that he isn’t fully back to the Asahi you met a long time ago, his hair is still thin, his frame is still not as filled out as it once was, but is definitely in a healthier range, his smile isn’t 100% confident and doesn’t seem to fully reach his eyes, but he looks good. And if he’s here, he must be feeling good.

“Hey y/n, I’ve been doing a lot better recently and my therapist said I should come and speak my mind. First, let me give you the most genuine and heartfelt thank you I can muster. If you hadn’t said what you did that one evening, I would never have gotten help and I honestly might not be here.”

His words are confident and sincere. They sound a little rehearsed, which is endearing. Asahi was never the most eloquent or poised person when it comes to feelings, but his declarations of love were always true in the deepest sense of the word. You couldn’t contain the smile on your face even if you wanted to, not when he’s done so much, not when he’s trying so hard. 

“I might perceive the world as darker and more hellish than it actually is sometimes, but I’m gonna try again and again to soothe my heart and pick the flowers growing in the midst of hell. You are one of those flowers, a light in the darkness that motivates and assures me that all is well. If you would like, I want to grab coffee with you, like old times.”

Your bodies are bathed in golden sunlight from the window behind you, giving your nod a lucent halo. The halo fades as you step out and close the door behind you, but the glow doesn’t, it’s part of him, part of you.

Tags

@ceo-of-daichi​ @haikyuuhotline​ @sugawara-sweetheart​ @nonexistent-social-life​ @laughingismorefun​ @iguessimastannow​

[oh-for-fic-sake]

A Man And His Cat

You both explore pet play.

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult situations +18 , Pet play, Spanking, Oral, Its kinky

A/n: Sooo who wants smut? my quarantine imagine went down well so here is another dirty fic. This will probably be a mini series feel free to send me your kinks and I will try and incorporate them. I am still working on my other stories slowly but on a little writers block and I may or may not have re-watched superman vs batman so look out as there might be some more dc on the horizon because omg I nearly forggot how yummy they were. Anyway here is another smut piece for you all hope you enjoy xx

Taglist @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @thatgirly81​

A Man And His Cat

You lounged across the sofa in your hello kitty onesie playing your xbox, you'd gotten Jurassic world evolution and was currently snickering letting your t-rex run around eating people. Henry was upstairs you could hear him moving around in the study. The door bell went off you quickly got up wrestling kal out of the way to answer it hearing the post man call out he had left it on the bin you thanked him bringing the large box inside with a few letters piled on top. Not thinking anything of it you brought the post in kicking the door shut behind you.

"Babe what the fuck?" You froze not sure at first what you'd done wrong

"Shit hands! hands! sanitize them quick! we cant take chances! Your not supposed to answer the door I've told you that! Were in London! For Christ sake" He said rushing to you snatching the post handing you the sanitizer that sat on the table by the door. You shook your head quickly rubbing the sanitizer over your hands letting it soak in as Henry shook his head at you watching closely.

"Sorry, sorry I forgot" he sighed since receiving your official 'shielding'  letter from the government Henry had been a little mother hen....papa bear? Either way he was on edge hounding you about keeping your hands clean not touching anything that could possibly be infected or letting anyone other than himself with in 6ft of you. He even made you take your temperature each day with good reason tho your heart clenched things were getting bad the infection and death rates climbing each day ,there was rumors that the UK was on the course to being just like Italy and Spain. In a way his worrying was your fault when the letter came through Henry had freaked out a bit, it hit him hard when he realized it wasn't just speculation it was a fact that if you caught this thing it would most likely kill you and he was shook to the core. It didn't help when you'd only told him a few days prior not to worry about your condition that it was under control ,which technically it was every two months you was having blood tests every so often your blood count would dip a little but you normally managed it with your diet just eating more meat usually does it, the protein helping your count go up a little. You didn't bore him with the details he didn't need to know to much, you knew what to do and when to do it, it was normal for you. You feel yourself getting rough you get a blood test and up your steroids, you feel better you lower them back down the main goal being avoiding blood transfusions. But Henry had insisted he needed to know everything now he said it'd make him feel better so you told him, sat him down and explained that somehow your body can survive on a borderline blood count it should be 120 to 150 yours hovers around 100 to 110... If your lucky, not low enough for a transfusion but low enough to cause a few problems if it drops any more the lowest it got in recent years was 57.... yeah that wasn't fun, you'd spent two whole days seven till seven getting transfusions then had to go back to have the iron in your blood taken out....It was not pretty, but since then you'd been more careful. You explained the fact that your immune system was practically non-existent you caught chicken pox a year before and it nearly killed you two days after the spots appeared causing all sorts of issues pneumonia, bacterial infections in the heart and lungs then sepsis resulting in a few weeks in hospital in the infectious diseases unit so yeah safe to say catching this thing would be bad. Henry bless him was gobsmacked he knew you was anemic ,that was it, he had enough on his plate you didn't want to add to it.You leaned back on the side unit by the door trying to pet kal who sniffed at your hand then snorted walking off, he didn't like the sanitizer one bit.

"Henry I'm sorry I just-it keeps slipping my mind" he nodded wrapping you up in a bear hug resting his chin on your head.

"I know baby I'm sorry for snapping... I just don't want to loose you, stay indoors and stay safe those aren't just the government's rules ,their my rules as  well baby girl remember?" You nodded kissing his chest before replying.

"Yes daddy" then turned and walked to the living room again noticing kal playing in his small cubby hole that had been a cupboard until recently, it had been turned into his own little bed room, complete with bed, night light and shelves that had some family photos of the three of you, you blew him a kiss and he huffed plonking his head down on his fluffy bed stretching out ready for his morning nap, you settled back down to play your game. Henry used the sanitizer then ran a hand through his hair sighing he picked up the post bringing it in placing the large box on the counter. He smirked realizing what it was. His order from bondara ignoring the letters he quickly got a knife slicing open the box. Henry routed around in the box like a kid on Christmas excited he headed up stairs to collect his other investments. You was pulled out of your game by Henry combing your hair back with his fingers pulling it up and back into a high ponytail, something you had no idea he could do, you paused the game turning to him but he held you still facing the TV then you felt them. He had clipped your little fluffy grey kitty ears in your hair pulling the pony tail tighter to secure the bottom of the crocodile clips. You brought a hand up to them confused a little touching them softly. He walked to the side smiling cooing at you

"There she is my precious little kitty! Just look at how cute you are?" You flushed at him as he bent down petting between your 'ears' then he growled in your ear.

"I could just eat you all up" you mewled rocking on the sofa a little anticipating the way this would turn out he gasped a little.

"But whats this? you still need your collar how will anyone know you have a loving owner if you don't have a cute little collar on?" he strode across the room plucking something from the box and retrieved a few more items from the counter that you hadn't known was there ,now tho you could clearly see a folded black towel you moaned at the implication he must have brought it down from upstairs turning he made his was back to you this time standing in front of you.

"As much as I did like your own kitten collar I got you a new one, not from bondara I didn't like theirs much but thankfully etsy is still up and running, here it is see?" You gasped as he revealed a pink leather choker with a pretty lace and ruffle design making it look more like a fancy Lolita choker then a kitty collar apart from the large rose gold D ring hanging from the middle just below a dark pink bow and medium-sized rose gold bell You quickly made to grab for it but he pulled it out of reach .

"No let me do it" you quickly held your head high stretching your neck for him to put it on he chuckled at how eager you was, you smiled wide as he quickly placed it around your neck you sighed when you felt the inside was a little padded with a soft almost suede like material. He spun it around so the bell and D ring was central then hooked two fingers inside checking how tight it was satisfied that it wouldn't choke you he pulled away and watched you closely then he sighed

"No ... its still not right is it kitten?" You tilted your head feeling a little ashamed?upset? he didn't like it? Did he think you were ugly? You blinked frowning at him bottom lip wobbling a little as you were on the brink of tears pulling back from him.

"What-" he shushed you placing a finger to your lips

"Kittens don't talk, now there is something missing pet, Ah! I know now this might be it" he said and picked up a small shiny matching rose gold heart tag, he held it to you to read it. On one side it said kitten the other had 'Property Of Henry If Lost Call' and his phone number on it you gasped a little opening your mouth the thank him but he snapped his fingers at you.No talking. You pouted mewling up at him again not sure how to communicate how much you loved it. Then you clicked leaning forward licking his hand biting lightly before tilting your head nuzzling his crotch. You smirked as his breath hitched in his throat and he grunted swearing quietly unable to stop himself from grinding on your head a little then stopped as you pulled back he grunted again rearranging himself in his bottoms. He made quick work of threading the tag onto the D ring he kissed your head

"Good girl and look baby it was a set" he leaned over you picking up a thick soft paracord lead in pink with leather handle decorated to match your new collar clipping it onto the D ring then looped it around his hand tugging lightly prompting you off of the sofa once you stood he quickly undid the buttons on the onesie letting it fall leaving you naked in the room. You shivered nipples puckering as the soft lead grazed your breasts and tummy as he moved, stepping out of the onesie Henry kicked it across the room.

"There we are kitten, nearly finished now down" he said barley containing his excitment you got down on your hands and knees before him holding his gaze rubbing your thighs together rocking side to side trying to caress your tingling clit between your lips as you felt small trickle of your arousal escape onto the floor mewling at the tiny flickers of pleasure it caused. Henry lead you across the living room to the island in the kitchen crawling was a little tricky at first but you soon found a smooth rhythm staying beside him smiling as the bell tinkled at every movement you made, he smiled down at you from this angle you could already see the bulge forming in his trousers, you went to sit down when he stopped only to have him fold the lead in one hand an strike you with it lightly across your breasts making you yelp out then moan looking down seeing a red stripe across them.

"No sitting until your told now ass up, good kitten just like that" you complied preening at his praise. He bent down holding out a fluffy grey kittytail plug you squealed a little bending further down pushing your tender breasts to the cold floor looking back at him expectantly waving your ass in the air at him. He laughed and crouched beside you running a hand across your dripping pussy  he leaned over kissing your head growling as his fingers massaged your wet center you moaned pushing back on him, he dragged his fingers to your opening plunging two thick fingers inside crooking them trying to scoop out more of your cum holding the plug just below you arched pushing back skimming your breasts across the cool floor trembling as he fucked you slowly bringing the plug to your clit and pressing it in small circles making you buck against him moaning and keening in higher pitches.

"Oh looks like I may have wasted money on lube hey baby? all wet and ready for me already such a precious thing." he ran the plug along your ass smearing your arousal across you all the way down to your slit you moaned as he spread his fingers out pulling your lips with them revealing your quivering hole to the cold air of the room making you gasp and clench as the freezing metal plug passed over it resting heavy on your clit, bucking a little you whined pushing back a little as the cold metal met your heated wet flesh, he held it still letting you warm the toy before running it back and forth slowly twisting it letting your arousal coat it wanting to make sure it was wet enough for him to push it in once satisfied he lifted it moving one hand to your bottom then began pressing it insistently at your tight little pucker. You whined placing the side of your face on the cool tile looking at him, he stroked your head shushing you when he realized just how much bigger this was from the last one

"Ok kitten now try to hold still one big deep breath just like before...Good girl now out push on your bottom" you nodded whining  bearing down on the toy as he held your shoulder using it to pull you back as he started pressing the tail further into you. You arched taking deep breaths when the plug seemed to get wider and wider you shook your head trying to arch away as it stung despite your arousal easing the way, you panicked a little as it seemed to keep stretching becoming sore as your tight ring tried fighting it .

"N-no its to muc-AAHH!" you cried out , he shushed you

"Come on kitten... Nearly there....Just a tiny bit more I promise......Push out again for me good girl! shh that’s it...Such a good girl for me......Ah ah no! stop moving bab-baby no no don't do-HEY! enough!-you’ll hurt yourself!" He scolded you as you tried to push against his hand on your shoulder to wriggle away then when that didn't work you unconsciously tried tucking your bottom beneath you whimpering. He stopped you with a quick volley of sharp spanks you yelped as his hot hand heated your ass, then there was a familiar popping sensation as your bottom swallowed the plug closing snug around it. He had used the distraction to quickly push the last of the plug in with a quick little shunt. You pushed up on your hands breathing heavy as the plug was indeed larger then the one you had used before, you ached as your ass tried fighting it wanting to push it out you let out pitiful breathy moans as you rippled around it.

"Daddy? Its big-im not sure-FUUCK OOHH" you cut yourself off moaning loud when he grabbed the tail and gave a small tug smirking as you cried out then followed it trying to ease the pressure he thrusted it a few times hitting something deep that made you arch high and squeal pressing back on to it as your pussy ceased and your clit throbbed so hard it almost felt raw he let go then twisted on his feet petting your head drawing patterns on your back.

"Oh baby I know its hard but your a kitten and kittens don't talk , if you carry on daddy will gag you understand?" you nodded at him pressing your head into his chest and kissed it softly wanting a little comfort, hissing deep breaths as you clenched around the tail plug whining, he brought the hand from your back and rubbed around the plug pressing it lightly.

"Its a little bigger but look at you? such a good girl look at that pretty little tail now just one more thing and you'll be daddies perfect kitty" he stood back up getting the remaining items a set of mittens that had no thumb piece instead just one Little pouch to fit your hand in with little paw prints on them they would be held on by two thin leather wrist cuffs. you wriggled around now growing accustomed to the bulbous plug pressing on your insides moaning as the ache became more a pleasurable throb you rocked a little in the air mouth open gasping as you rocked faster feeling the plug press against the back wall of you pussy, Henry quickly snatched up your hands one after the other locking them into the paw mittens. He stood back groaning loud as he watched cupping his erection rubbing along the bulge moaning rocking his hips into his palm as you kept arching your back. The sight was more erotic then he could have dreamed, he almost drooled as you rotated and wriggled your hips pushing back and forth trying to make your plug hit the spot he had pressed it to earlier moaning with closed eyes flushing a bright red, flinching as the tail ghosted your legs as it swayed behind you, turning you looked at the soft tail hanging between your legs giggling as the soft fur licked at your thighs. He snapped out of it and tugged you moving slower this time you stopped every so often moaning and whimpering as each step make your pussy twitch as the plug pressed against the back wall of it teasing your sensitive flesh from the wrong side by the time you got to the sofa both thighs were wet and you was shaking with need he sighed sitting down on it legs spread holding the lead tight keeping your head close to his crotch

"Come on baby time for your little treat" he said motioning for you to pull him free you brought your hands up fumbling with the zipper only really achieving to rub him through them ,making him grind against your hands throwing his head back you groaned in frustration whimpering at him resting your head in the inside of his thigh running your nose across the bulge sighing he looked down then petted you between your ears again.

"Oh kitten you can do better then that come on get daddy out." you pouted at him and nipped his thigh with your front teeth making him hiss and tug harshly on the lead growling at you before wrapping the cord around his fist once more pressing your nose into his crotch

"Bite me again kitten and see what happens, you think I wont fuck your throat raw? Ram into your mouth until my cock is choking you? Face fuck you until your pass out? I wouldn't test me kitten not now Ive waited to long to have you like this." His low ground out threats made you moan you couldn't wait until he fucked your mouth, already craving his salty taste, you kissed his cock through his trousers licking at it, it made you realize what you should do you trembled tucking your knees underneath you to keep your weight off of the plug you licked a long strip up the front of his trousers wetting them making him grunt again, one hand rested on your head petting you, you smirked watching through your lashes as he started flushing and panting, he loved it when you did this it was the only time he let you tease mostly because he was enjoying himself to much to fight for control, for all his talk of wanting control you think he secretly liked being at your mercy every once in a while, you poked out your tongue grazing his zipper then bit down making sure to press on him harshly making him yelp and hiss though clenched teeth when you dragged it down, he fumbled quickly undoing his top button and shimmied them down his hips giving you enough room to bite his boxers and pull them down....only you didn't you wrapped your lips over them sucking on him hard through them making sure to soak his boxers with spit making him groan giving a  thrust up to your face fisting his fingers in you hair a little careful not to pull off the ears.

"FUCK kitten!! Oh GOD! fuck pleaseplease do that again!! come on once more such a good girl" you did taking your sweet time kissing and suckling on him nudging him with your nose pushing him up and latched onto the sensitive underside of his cock running your teeth over his hot flesh rocking your hips left and right letting your pussy massage itself poking out your tongue you flattened it running it up the vein near his head pinning it to his hip then opened your mouth around it humming, he jerked up ass leaving the seat moaning out loud swearing at you for being a tease, you continued up finding his swollen crown you licked at it then his slit sucking again on him. He groaned loud and drawn out flexing his fingers and widened his legs you carried on enjoying having the man at your mercy for once kissing and sucking at his twitching length he began rocking faster panting.

"OH! yesyesYES Baby...WAIT HOLD ON!... Fuck slow down!Dont nono that's it kitten thats enough daddies going to cum! NO! ENOUGH!" you giggled as he used the lead to jerk you away panting and sweaty you thought it was funny you'd never heard him that desperate before, he normally had godlike restraint  holding himself back for hours if he really wanted to, he gasped then ran a hand across his face and melted into to sofa fighting of the impending orgasm. You sat there biding your time once he relaxed you swooped back in ready to force him to cum in his boxers, but only managed one kitten lick before being jerked away again he growled at you in warning giving you a stern look then tugged of his top still panting.

"you cheeky little thing!" you grinned raising yourself to your knees running your hands up his thighs as you leaned in kissing along the v of muscles above his boxers licking at his skin then nuzzled him lightly ghosting his stomach with your nose placing butterfly kisses here and there feeling him flex trying to arch his cock up to you, you slowly made your way down again opening your mouth tilting your head to engulf the muscle just on his boxers waistband flattening your tongue relishing in the pleasure filled noises he let loose and in the same moment curled your fingers over it the elastic pulling it away letting him spring free hitting your chin. He grunted as you let go letting the elastic snap back onto his balls only letting his cock free he looked down at you giving you a heated look

"Careful baby you don't want to play these games with me" you blinked innocently at him smiling then began kissing lower until you was at the base of his cock ignoring the small patch of hair at his root kissing him obscenely with open mouthed wet kisses then licked him from base to tip before plunging down on him he groaned closing his eyes tight

"FUCK KITTEN! Oohh god that's so hot, shit your mouth is SO FUCKING HOT UGH!" You sucked him deep swallowing around him letting one hand wander to his balls cupping them and rolling them in your palm your other hand dropped between your legs and you ground yourself on your hand moaning onto his cock as you worked your clit in slow firm strokes making your new gloves sticky and wet from your arousal. He cried out desperately bucking into your mouth and throat moaning and crying out cutting off his own words as you kept changing your pace hearing your little bell jingle with your movements on him bobbing your head slow with harsh sucks to his head then fast making sure to swallow or moan as he hit your throat focused solely on making him cum. Today he would cum first you were going to make sure. You whined as you changed direction on your clit feeling the heat in your belly slowly make its way down settling in your hard clit rubbing and tapping at it moaning louder as your orgasm began to build. He shivered his thighs jerking and trembling as you pointed your tongue pressing on the sensitive vein underneath it he shook his head clutching at the sofa grunting breathlessly each time he felt the vibrations of your throat moaning on him.

"BABY BABY STOP! I cant fuck please its to much- no nononono not yet I FuckFU-Fuuuck ah AH AH OH SHIT FUUUUUUCK" you ignored him, he was so lost that he had forgotten the lead, you used it to your advantage pulling back and sucking hard on his head licking at his slit then gripped his sack squeezing it tight as it tensed upwards then with one small drag of your teeth he whimpered loud and high releasing in your mouth jerking himself uncontrollably into your mouth face fucking you just like he threatened. You gave yourself a mental pat on the back but decided to go further swallowing as much of his cum you could but continued to suck and bob on him then cried out as your rocking hips found that perfect position on your clit making it throb and twitch your walls clenching, spasming making the plug move and caress your depths finally you screeched around his cock and came over your hand soaking the glove he yelped curling his feet into the floor shifting back trying to get away you followed placing your hands on his thighs pushing them back as he tried closing his legs trembling from your own release moaning and withering against him.

"UGH NOO FUCK STOPSTOPSTOOOP! ITS TO MUCH BA-KITTEN STOP IT NO PLEASE" he through his hands down blindly pushing you but you fought him wanting to torture him a bit, a little pay back for the other day you reasoned, but you couldn't fight him long even in his fucked out quivering state he was ten times stronger than you, you dragged your teeth across him one last time as he pushed you back off of him completely.

"Your a little bitch, you know that?" He said head tilted back and one arm draped across his eyes heaving deep breaths you just giggled kissing his thighs

"Where the fuck did that come from Anyway?" You just smirked licking your lip trying to collect the cum that had escaped from your mouth he groaned watching your pink tongue darting out.

“Meow?” You were a dangerous little kitten he decided. He looked down feeling your wet mitten then frowned a little before smiling deviously.

"Oh kitten? You didn't touch yourself did you?" You froze a little then sent him coy glance pulling your hands down slowly hoping he wouldn't notice. He caught your offending hand quickly

"Did you?" You shrugged feigning innocence as he pulled your hand up sniffing it you blushed

"It certainly smells like you" you whined at him flushing embarrassed  making him chuckle, he licked a long strip of of the mitten slapping his lips as he puled away tutting.

"Oh i think you did didn't you? Because daddy knows exactly how you taste and that my sweet little kitten is definitely you on this little mitten, such a needy little kitty hm? Did suckling on daddy really make you that desperate? Poor little baby" you panted as he bent forward his pupils dominated the blue of his eyes hot and playful all in one he peered down at the wooden floor sighing.

"Such a messy little pussy you have" he pushed you back a little you ducked when his leg swung over you and he got up walking to the counter again you watched  carefully as he approached the box you took the time to admire his taught ass as he bent forward a little reaching inside picking something out then folded the towel over his arm then hear the distinct sound of leather cracking on an open palm. You snapped out of your ass worshiping gaze eyes flicking  to his hands as he spun around looking at him as he held a new leather paddle with a paw print on it he smiled slyly crooking a finger at you. Come here. You gulped then rose from your spot on the floor crawling toward him gulping.

"You know kitten you was very reckless at the door earlier it was very naughty trying to torture daddy and playing with yourself without permission? I think you should be.....Corrected shall we say, for future reference just as a deterrent?. After all prevention is better then cure isn't it?" he licked his lips watching you squirm on the spot just across the kitchen island he tested the small paddle again. Your whole body ceased up as he stared at you.

"Erm N-no lets not how about best two out of three? You know three strikes and your out?" He chuckled shaking his head.

"Oh baby but that was three strikes and how many times do i have to tell you? kittens don't talk do they?" You pouted trying to sit your bottom down only to jerk it back up as your tail plug pressed deeper and the soft fur tickled your leg... not only that you didn't want to get it wet with your arousal

"Come kitten what do you say?" You blushed

"Meow" his face lit up yet his eyes only got darker

"That’s it such a clever kitty, but I must say you will be getting more then three strikes of your new paddle trust me now come round here like a good girl" you crawled around to his side squeaking as he lifted you effortlessly bending you over the counter you hissed as your breasts squished into the freezing cold marble your toes didn't touch the floor as he shuffled you up with the edge of the island on your thighs. He stood off to the side a little admiring the way your grey tail hung between your legs, the pitiful noises were delicious he grunted feeling himself twitch already starting to harden again he patted you bottom drawing lines along the soft skin moving to your slit following up towards the plug lifting the tail holding it taught in a fist but not pulling it out just tugging enough to make it press down into your pussy from behind. You moaned squirming trying to follow it as he held it high toes scrabbling up the cupboard door failing.

"Oh baby that's so cute, you know I  can see your pussy trying to find something to latch on to, does it feel hot? Is it empty? Sweet kitten you see if you had been a good girl following your rules, if you had stopped when daddy said and asked to touch yourself daddy would already be balls deep, battering away at your needy little pussy painting your insides with his cum... but no instead you hand to be a naughty girl and will have to settle for your paddle." You cried out as he circled your twitching clit as he spoke emphasizing words with shallow thrusts on his fingers he pulled away picking up the paddle striking your lower cheeks and pussy making you jump and moan hearing a wet slap as the sting settled in he pulled away running a hand over the pink spot

"Oohh look at that hah you have a little paw print on your tush now,I think fifteen will do don't you sweety? Five for each naughty thing you did? You know normally I would have you count and say thank you, but well seeing as your a kitten today you should meow instead" You groaned as he lifted it again slapping a bit harder this time you yelped as he aimed for the under curve of your left cheek then meowed dutifully.

"Very good again" he struck you again lower on your thigh no harder then before this time you meowed again moaning as your pussy clenched dripping on your touching thighs. You closed your eyes tight as he continued peppering your ass with the paddle the final five landed in quick succession on your weeping pussy you meowed loud and hard sobbing each pussy spank had directly struck the underside of your clit. Throwing the paddle on the counter he cupped your red swollen lips his hand cooling the burn. He smiled then tilted his hips up bringing his fully erect cock to your entrance. Throwing the towel down on the floor. You sobbed higher as he drew lines on your slit teasing your muscles you jerked against him just on the edge of cumming kicking out your legs.

"You know I have been doing some reading about squirting, I think I've sussed out how to make it happen on command shall we test it out?" You shook your head grunting as he thrust forward you cried out feeling him force your walls apart making room for his fat throbbing cock it stung more then ever with your weight on your tummy and plug in your ass but you loved it.

"Ugh! NOOO!AH AH FUCK!" You mewled grunting at each punishing thrust stretching you he was fighting the plug in your ass for room holding firm  he grinded your clit you screeched as he angled his hips and tugged up on the tail making the embedded metal run along his cock growling. Before you knew what happened your body ceased walls tightened clamping around his cock moaning and gasping releasing, flooding over him he laughed groaning as your steady stream of cum hit his abdomen and washed over him.

"Oh fuck! yes I knew you could do it good girl, fuck that's so HOT! again more come on baby you can do it! Give it to daddy once more then I'll fill you" he grunted doubling his efforts stroking his cock around inside of you giving sharp tugs to your tail jolting you back against him to meet his brutal hips making you whimper at the harsh treatment one of his hand snuck below you pinching your clit almost jerking it off.

"FUCK I’m nearly there KITTEN! OH SHIT! Fuckfuckfuck you better fucking cum for me! Or I'll get the wand out again!" That did it You threw your head back placing your toes on the cupboard door rocking against him cumming again long and hard, so hard you couldn't make a sound all the air left you and you just hung there your mouth hanging open in a silent scream he grunted gabbing your shoulders pulling you back to him making your spine curve painfully as you fell apart around him again your sopping pussy sucking on him trying to trap him with on final painful thrust he growled rubbing his cock head on your cervix releasing torrents of cum into you. He lowered your shoulders down feeling you go limp taking a moment to catch his breath then he pulled the box towards him panting heavy fishing out another plug

"NOnonono please Henry no moreIi cant-I came again I promise I did please don't get the wand out!" You panicked pleading with him as his hand disappeared into the box pushing back on him, he smiled waving a dildo plug on your face

"Not a wand see this is for your pussy love, to keep my cum inside you for the rest of the day.....after all you was a bad kitten" you mewled relaxing happy he wasn't going to torture you again to tired to argue you laid still as he pulled himself from you quickly plugging you up before anything could escape. You moaned and wriggled he slid you off of the counter to you feet quickly supporting you as you nearly dropped to the floor smirking a smug little smile you reached behind you to pull the tail from you he smacked your hand away

"Ohh no I think I will have you stay like this all day, at least then I know you wont answer the door" you gaped then pouted at him crossing your arms at him

"A-all day? What if I get cold" he chuckled walking across to the sofa throwing you his tshirt you quickly tried slipping it on but dropped it due to your mittens you sulked stamping a foot he pulled on his boxers then returned picking up the tshirt sliding it on you then quickly undid the mittens you flexed your fingers when they were free , he collected the damp towel on the floor wiping down your thighs and between your legs you took the other end patting his pelvis down blushing realizing just how much mess you'd made you looked down still wiping him tears sprung to your eyes sniffling

"Oh god this is so embarrassing" could hear the quiver in your voice, ready to cry out of shame he growled not having non of that he shook his head hooking his fingers into your collar pulling you up on your tiptoes forcing you to look him in the eye.

"Not its fucking hot! I cant believe how sexy that was feeling you cum so thoroughly, drenching me uncontrollably, fuck it was the most amazing feeling! And I cant wait to make you soak me again and again, one day I’m going to drink it from you." You blushed shocked by his words as he leaned in kissing you passionately sucking on your tongue he pulled away tossing the towel into the washing machine then pulled the leather cuffs from the loops in the mittens throwing then in as well quickly turning it on to rinse and dry. Then quickly he scooped you up settling back on the couch, you squirmed pulling the tail from under you he held it up your back lightly  then handed you the controller.

"Now show me your Jurassic park d-did you let the t rex out?" You smiled giggling at him nodding then snugged back into him as you started making a new paddock in the game. These next few months were going to be the best of your life if today was anything to go by.

[uwua3]

snap.

🍁📸 fushimi omi

summary: 5 times omi pretends it’s fine, and 1 time he snaps

warnings: anger issues, therapy, fights

notes: i wrote this based on a personal experience i’ve been recently had with a friend! although they are dear to me, i get tired easily from serious fighting and it brings back bad memories. so, this is just an one–shot that makes my frustration productive instead of taking it out on people!

omi is definitely one of the most patient people in mankai, but i feel like even he has limits and snaps every once in a while. this is just an example of being so mentally tired of fighting that you have no control over your anger anymore ♡

word count: 2,387

music: down in flames – aj mitchell

1.

Omi had been friends with you for as long as he could’ve remembered. You moved to Yosei University two years ago during his freshmen year, and Omi quickly became your tour guide after becoming the resident photographer of the academy, meaning he knew every possible spot on campus.

The first time Omi met you was in one of his classes, where he found his way to the classroom and had one goal in his mind: sit at the seat closest to the door. Omi never liked confrontation, but he’d rather have the professor call on him for sitting front row than have to rush past countless students to barely make it to his next class. His schedule was so packed to the point he needed a break, so when he turned and saw you sitting in his seat, Omi nearly groaned in frustration. It wasn’t a big deal, calm down, Omi.

Omi hated getting angry. The emotion of rage was so common, but he understood it was second to whatever feeling he felt first. Omi carefully took a few deep breaths just like his therapist instructed as he made his way to the open seat next to you, sitting down with a practiced smile to mask his slight annoyance. Omi didn’t like anger, he didn’t want to subject any of his frustrations onto you, especially a stranger who didn’t know him.

It was ten minutes into class before the professor put everyone in pairs to discuss the topic with the person next to you as an icebreaker.

You turned as Omi remembered his lessons: put your hand out, have a friendly smile, and lightly shake their hand. That’s how you make friends, after all! The moment you took his hand, everything changed as you two started talking immediately and got off–topic way too fast. You two clicked! Omi’s underlying tension with you disappeared as his brain recognized you as a new friend.

As he waved goodbye and hurried to his next class, Omi looked forward to seeing you every class.

2.

You’re included in Omi’s friend group after no time at all. You fit in well without any problems, you got along with everyone and Omi was so relieved because he quickly found out you were... problematic.

Omi didn’t realize this at first, but you had a temper. It was an issue he understood, but Omi has spent his entire life trying to not let it explode out of no where. You, really didn’t care. You would initiate arguments over things that really didn’t matter, like miniscule things even Omi didn’t hyper–fixate on. You’d raise your voice, convinced you were 100% right and there was no room to disagree.

Omi would just apologize even if he didn’t mean it and move on from the topic, subtly changing subjects because really, arguing exhausted him. Omi grew up with an all–male house, so the testosterone within his family was tiring, to say the least. Omi had to be the peacemaker, the balance between all the boys (puberty was hell). So, deterring fights with you weren’t exactly difficult, it was just taxing.

One time, you were criticizing Omi for a joke he made. He couldn’t even remember what it was, but you were adamant that he was completely wrong and you began explaining why. Omi glanced around the room, you two were having lunch in the courtyard with his friends. They didn’t seem to notice, used to your outbursts and talked amongst themselves. Wow, thanks guys.

“I’m sorry, you’re right.” Omi tried to calm you down, but you got even angrier (how was that possible?!). You got into it like it was a debate, so Omi just silently ate his food as he half–listened to you and tried to focus on passing students. You went on and on, but Omi couldn’t find it in himself to fight back. He didn’t like that, Omi didn’t like anger.

Omi breathed in and out three times. Omi counted to ten in his head. Omi didn’t look at you. Omi hated getting angry.

So, Omi just kept saying sorry.

(But, was it even his fault?)

3.

You guys moved to texting to stay in touch outside of Yosei University. At first, it was school updates on events that you two wanted to hang out together at. Then, it became like every 21st–century friendship: sending memes. You and Omi had a similar sense of humor, so it wasn’t hard to send him something that made him laugh out loud. He didn’t really follow that many modern online trends because he was often preoccupied with schoolwork, but he understood the appeal.

It wasn’t until he questioned some picture you sent that you blew up his phone with texts, yelling at him for not knowing what joke you were referring to. Omi blinked, he wasn’t used to phone rants. You didn’t even explain the joke, you just made fun of his inability to understand things. Omi almost felt insulted until he remembered this was common, you just liked doing this. You were just tempermental, that’s it.

You were like his brothers. Omi knew what to do, trying to push aside his feelings of hurt as he apologized. You took it this time, much to his relief.

Omi decided to research more stuff about your favorite references so he could stay updated. You were much better with him the next time around and Omi avoided asking questions because you’d only get mad. Omi didn’t want you to be angry, Omi hated getting angry.

Omi hated anger.

4.

Your anger moved to the classroom. The students around you guys liked talking, so you five often grouped up for projects and always talked about “a C is passing”. But sometimes, you liked starting fights even in public with mere acquaintances.

Omi wouldn’t say your stubbornness was a fault. Omi once asked about it in a moment of bravery, and you surprisingly told him you felt silenced most of your life, so you didn’t hesitate sharing what makes you uncomfortable and what hurts you. That was fair, Omi became more understanding of your stubborness and inability to compromise without emotions clouding your judgement. He’d just have to work on managing it.

Omi’s therapist didn’t seem to like you, oddly enough. When Omi shared that you liked fighting, they almost looked concerned. They asked if what you started made Omi angry, and Omi always shook his head and denied it. Yeah, sure sometimes you got him riled up, but he’s never seriously yelled at you in public. He knew how to control his anger management issues, he knew how to be calm again.

He was close though, that day. You were in class, picking on him for something he didn’t even know about. Omi just laughed, trying to play the whole thing off as a joke as you tried to get him mad.

You always hated how, placid, Omi was. He never fought back and didn’t have the drive your other friends did. It was confusing, he was clearly passionate about his hobbies, so it’s not like he lacked energy. He’s yelled before, but always out of exaggeration or acting. Omi was a gentle giant, but you wanted to see him angry, for once.

When you said something particularly embarrasing, Omi’s eye twitched as his heart rate sped up. His blood pressure rose when people started laughing, taking the fun out of the joke when the attack suddenly felt serious. Omi was about to snap, say something he knew he’d regret before he took in a deep inhale through his nose, and exhaled through his mouth. In and out, just like his therapist taught him.

Omi just laughed, much to your chagrin. What was there to laugh about? How could someone be so composed, no matter what?

You gave up, not noticing Omi’s tight fists and practiced breathing next to you. Omi refused to get angry, Omi hated getting angry.

5.

University was closed because of quarantine. Omi missed seeing his friends and often relied on texting now to stay in touch. Omi wouldn’t say he was clingy, but he definitely liked sending messages and shared everything on his mind as the older brother figure. You didn’t seem to like that.

You: Why do you always come to me for these situations if you don’t even listen to me?

Omi stared at his phone screen, confused. Why were you suddenly angry? Everything was going so well, you hadn’t lashed out at him in forever. It was before quarantine, you were enjoyable when you weren’t suddenly mad at him. Omi typed, furrowing his eyebrows.

Omi: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad.

You had sent a message immediately, something about how you couldn’t listen to his rant today and left. Omi was distraught, had he said something wrong? Omi scrolled through his messages, but it’s like you got angry out of no where. Did you like doing this?

Omi muted your contact. For once in his life, he felt like maybe this wasn’t his fault, this time. You exploded on him when he was sharing a vulnerable moment, it almost offended him to the point of writing a long message to show he was hurt.

Never mind that, Omi just dialed it down. Maybe, his friends didn’t want to hear all about his problems, maybe he pushed too much onto them. Omi breathed out, bringing his pointer finger up eye as he pulled it back, seeing the glisten of a tear. Without warning, Omi felt himself start producing tears out of frustration. Omi didn’t know why he was so emotional, it had been so long since he felt emotions this intensely after the many, many one–sided arguments.

Omi laid his head down on his pillow, trying to stop crying. Omi didn’t like all the fights, pretending like it didn’t bother him, that you found it funny to try and test his patience. Omi hated anger, Omi hated getting angry.

But, this time, Omi wasn’t even angry. Omi was just confused why you were angry at him all the time.

You tried messaging Omi the next day. At first, he tried ignoring it, wanting to get some satisfaction from being the petty person for once. But, he relented, getting back in the same cycle.

You seemed to be avoiding the topic of what happened. Omi felt confused, and wanted to resolve the slight tension. Omi apologized first, and for once, you even said sorry back! You explained why what Omi did was hurtful (Omi really didn’t understand, but he tried to), and Omi responded in a similar fashion.

(You ignored it. You sent him a meme.)

Was it fair to say his feelings were hurt? Did his feelings matter to you? Omi sighed, knowing this was the best he was going to get. You were probably just emotionally drained like he was. At least, you weren’t angry.

+1

It was the next day, and Omi snapped.

No, scratch that, it had been mere hours before you got angry at him in a groupchat. For once, Omi’s friends were defending him, saying he was just making funny associations with some T.V. show Taichi made him watch and it was all fun and games. You got angry, saying you felt uncomfortable being associated with a character and that Omi always remembered things based on colors.

Omi stared at his phone screen, again. Omi just liked colors, he hated to admit it, but colors often were essential to his memory. So, no wonder he got into photography! It was just a different way of thinking, and Omi tried explaining that as best as he could. But, he could tell even the others knew his patience was on thin ice as he monotonously texted back.

Omi: Please calm down, it’s just a joke. I wasn’t personally trying to attack you at all. Why are you angry?

You had responded, again and again until Omi sighed, resigning himself to apologize rather than play into your games. Was this all a test? Why were you angry so soon after you two apologized to each other?

Omi said sorry, and you stopped saying anything. Later in the day, you tried to send him multiple memes you knew would make him laugh. Omi just left them on read, trying to go through his day without lashing out at you after the whole episode. It was one thing to fight with him privately, but in the group chat? Omi almost felt betrayed.

Omi was overcome with rage. Omi was just re–reading the messages before his vision went red. His blood was boiling, his heartbeat was drumming in his ears. It had been so long since Omi felt like he wasn’t in the wrong, like the argument wasn’t his fault. Omi sat up, trying to massage his temples as he breathed in and out. But, they came out uneven and haggard, making him even more on edge as he held his head in his hands.

Why was this the last straw? You had fought with him over worse, but this time, Omi couldn’t control his emotions as well as he wanted to. You starting fights with him wasn’t okay, it’s not fine. Stubbornness couldn’t excuse the mental drain he felt every time he talked to you and the way he’d tip–toe around everything instead of talking freely, like he deserved.

Omi picked up his phone, and texted you, despite all his anger.

Omi: I think we shouldn’t talk to each other for a while. I’m tired of being angry all the time. I’ve worked too hard to sacrifice all the progress I’ve made for myself to be calm, you can’t take that away from me. I don’t want to be angry at you, I just want to be friends. Please, let’s talk again when you don’t see me as your inferior, but a friend.

Omi muted you for good and didn’t bother checking your messages. Maybe you won, you got him mad, but Omi felt the anger in him fade away as he realized there’d be no more arguments, fights, or sides to choose tomorrow.

Omi was tired of saying sorry when he didn’t mean it. Sure, he hated anger and getting angry, but sometimes, Omi needed it to say “no”.

[h2ojustaddmako]

My Thoughts After Re-Watching Season 2

Hiya everybody. Sorry for the long times between posts. Working two jobs and keeping a social life, while also trying to sleep, eat healthy and get hydrated is taking a toll on this account. Bright side is, that because of the whole Corona situation, I might spend a lot of time home soon. So head-up, another headcanon/theory is coming this week, but just to break the hiatus, I decided to write today.

Every now and then, I decide to re-watch one of the three seasons of the show, just so I could have something to fill my time. So, recently I decided to watch season 2 again, and, as I like, pick up on some details, ideas or thoughts I didn’t get during previous binges. I’ve watched this season, like the others, around four or five times now since release, maybe more - and yet I’m still genuinely surprised at the things I notice or realize every time. So I figured I might turn it into a list of the good, the bad, and the plain interesting.

This list is in no particular order, I just write my thoughts as they go.

1. I am still BLOWN AWAY by how good the writing is on this show. It may not be an Oscar-winning script, but for a teen show of the early 2000′s it’s amazingly deep and well thought of, from every angle. That what makes my theories so fun to make, because they planted so much information throughout the shows that I genuinely enjoy picking out details and information from it.

2. To go into more depth, I really enjoyed all the different storylines they brought in throughout the 26 episodes. Look, twenty-six episodes is a lot for a TV series. Most shows release around 10, since long storylines are hard to follow and are easy to get messy. But while they added so many side stories (Max and the original mermaids, Ash and Emma, Cleo and Lewis’ breakup and Charlotte getting in between),. each of these stories merged with the main plot so well, and actually added depth to the story, making it more complicated for the characters, and more interactive for the viewer.

3. While the main focus for the season was the Cleo-Lewis-Charlotte  relationship, both Emma and Rikki had their romantic paths taken as well. But unlike season 1, where the couples fought for screen time, this time those relationships were put to the side in favour of the main plot, which made them more slow-paced and interesting to watch. I enjoyed the fact that Emma and Ash stayed in the dark throughout the entire season, and that Zane only appeared when he was needed. Both are good characters, but not needed every time.

4. On the other hand, Cleo and Lewis’ relationship was handled very maturely all through the season. From when they dated, through the post-breakup, and all the way to managing being friends, the relationship was very well looked into and explored.

5. Might be a side thing, but I loved that Ash was actually figuring out something was off about Emma. One of my favourite lines by him was, “You realize none of this is natural. But you already knew that.” (Ep. 26) Mostly in shows like these, the character either never questions the weird occurrences around them, or the curiosity fuel the storyline (like Zane in season 1). The writer really wrote out of pure logic and not out of plot requirements, and I dig that little detail.

6. This one is felt throughout the entire show, but was most dominant during this one. The show is not about mermaids at all. This is written as a show about three girls and their coming of age process, and the things they have to deal with, one of them being turned into mermaids. But it’s far from being the only problem these girls have, and it’s showing when some episodes really struggle to squeeze in scenes of the girls in their tails for pure rating, even when the plot is not in need of any mermaid action. The girls have a very full and normal lifestyle aside from being mermaids. They go out, go shopping, have other friends, work, study and fail, deal with personal issues at home or with partners. The tails are just another part of their lives and I love it.

7. Episode 23 is a turning point for Charlotte’s character arch. I’ve spoken greatly before about how I feel like Charlotte is seen in our minds as the “bad guy” while she was a nice character most of her time on the show. And she was! Up until episode 23 when was never trying to hurt the girls. She may have acted out of jealousy before towards Cleo, but she was insecure and worried about her boyfriend. What should she think when her boyfriend spends a whole lot of time with his ex and fails to explain to her exactly why? The show did a great job showing the point of both sides in the argument between the girls and Charlotte, and showed the entire process of how their relationship turned into what it was.  A lot of ego, assumptions, and false worries, and a lot of unfortunate events. Episode 23 was really a turning point because that’s where both sides of the fight were really right in different ways, things that led Charlotte to want to go on her own, and the girls to stay away from her. Charlotte acted the way she did because she felt like the girls were treating her badly (which she was wrong about sometimes, but they too hold the blame, mostly Rikki). From episode 24 and on, she started acting as the “bad guy” the show built her to be, and even then I can see her side. But enough on that.

8. Lewis is hot. Idk what’s up with Charlotte’s eyebrows.

9. One thing that feels off every time is how quickly Lewis started dating Charlotte. I don’t blame a guy for moving on quickly, I do find it weird that during the post-breakup from Cleo, he not only protected Cleo’s respect and jealousy by not flirting with any other girl, but also didn’t really seem like he was into Charlotte at all. She was a good friend at the beginning, then Cleo got in the middle, and for some reason, Charlotte did her best to rub it in Cleo’s face that she wants Lewis. But he never, for once, showed interest back until Cleo gave him permission to move on, and all of a sudden they’re dating. What I'm saying is that Lewis never seemed to like Charlotte romantically, like she liked him. So that was weird, they just never felt right together.

10. The reason Charlotte mastered her powers so quickly, at least in my eyes, is because that a) she had the girls to explain her at least the basics, and b) she didn’t put herself into a box of ‘this is what I was given’, bc she wanted to be better than Cleo at every cost. Her will power helped her master her powers. While the girls dealt with learning their boundaries and abilities and adjusting into the new life they got, Charlotte learned about mermaids before her transformation and knew what she was getting into.

11. The show never shied away from real-life issues, that may be considered inappropriate or harsh to the audiences the show is targeted at. Handling with divorce (and the outcomes of it!) and parents starting dating again (true story, Cleo’s way to handle with Sam’s introduction into her father’s life helped me cope when my mother started dating men a couple of years ago), while also showing signs of LGBT references (Nate mentioned people think Lewis is gay, in other words) or even sexual harassment and consent (both when Rikki was mad at Zane for kissing her against her will, and when Ash’s apology to Emma when he believed Lewis thought he was trying to have sex with her/spy on her showering, which to remind y’all, she was 16 while he was 18). It’s so brief I never noticed it before, but once I did, it was hard to miss.

12. And lastly, I just love how this show treats science. So much real life and true scientific information is included in the lines of the story, mainly by Lewis, but also by other characters like Will, Cleo, Lowrey, Max and Dr. Denman. When they wrote the entire base to what mermaids are and how they exist, they didn’t care it was a show for goddamn 9-year-olds, and that what makes it so interesting. If you’re not into science, let me tell you that every scientific blurb or word you hear on the show is 100%% real and makes sense within its context. From talking about marine biology, to referring to mermaids groups ‘pods’ (which is a group of marine mammals in scientific terms), to the science of “magic” and mermaids as a whole, the show knows what it’s doing is within the realms of possibility from a scientific point of view, meaning none of it is real, but it could be, in another life.

Anyways, if you have anything else to add, feel free! This is your list as it is mine. I just really love this show and I wish people appreciated it the same way we do. When I tell people I like this show they remember it as just another kids TV show, and it’s so much more than that.

Hope you’re having a great day, be safe, and wash your hands (just not in front fo people, keep the secret safe!)

Until next time, maybe not as far as you think. xx

[gerberbabey]

teenagers | platonic!pogues

To celebrate reaching 100 followers I meant to post my first request but i lagged Shoutout to that anon!

Request: fem!reader is from obx BUT shes not the usual denim shorts with a cute tank top and minimal makeup yanno shes a little more alt tiktok girl style/euphoria style and shes SUPER sassy and badass. can the scenario be: at a party and stands up to rafe for kie and its her meeting the pogues? so jus the pogues x platonic!reader.

a/n: to the person that sent the request, i forgot to say in the ask: I love you and i appreciate you. hope you love this ❤️   also the hardest part about this was picking out the outfit 💀

masterlist

warnings: cussing, rafe’s a dickhead, underaged drinking, there is talk of sex no actual sex tho sorry, terrible writing (idk who editing is)

♫ Teenagers by My Chemical Romance ♫

As someone who’s lived her entire life on an island, people found it rather odd that you weren’t much of an “island” person. Despite being born and raised in Kildare County, in the Outer Banks, aka “Paradise on Earth”, there was so much about you that didn’t conform to the same lifestyle as those around you. You tended to step away from doing ocean related activities, stood out specifically in the way you presented yourself, and more recently spent more of your time on the mainland than the islands now that school was out for the summer.

“Do you wanna...go...to the....” Sarah trailed off as she stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to your ceilings. Any idea she had involved dressing down into swim wear and going out to the beach or just ocean in general. And she knew you would turn it down despite being grounded and therefore stuck on the island.

When you’d called her and told her that you were bored and in turn needed her company and entertainment, she didn’t really expect you to tell her that your parents had prohibited you from taking the ferry out to the mainland for the next month.

“Y’know, what’d you even do? To get grounded?” Sarah questioned as she lay on your bed while music played from the vintage record player your parents had copped for you a few years back.

“Me and my friends got caught trespassing,” you mumbled, “It was really stupid.”

“You got caught trespassing?” Sarah scoffed.

“Yeah and the only reason we go caught in the first place was because Andy-you remember Andy?” Sarah nodded her head despite the fact that she didn’t now who you were talking about, “Got super high off an indica strain and fell asleep! Lin and Nico got away cus they left me and TK to take care of him! Andy’s fucking huge!”

“Wha-Ok, why were you even trespassing?”

“Cus...we wanted to skate,” you explained and you rolled your eyes Sarah raised her brows at you.

“(Y/N), you got arrested because you wanted to skate?!”

“No, ok I almost got arrested because Andy’s a big motherfucker!” you retorted and Sarah threw her hands up in exasperation.

It was ridiculous but it made sense. Not only were you and your mainland friends kind of reckless, it made sense that your parents grounded you to the island. Sure they were actually extremely lax and reasonable (If Sarah were to describe your parents she would call them Hippies. Hippies straight out of the 60s.)They were understanding of who you were as a person and loved you for it but always warned you that they drew the line at two things and those things were jail time and life threatening injuries.

Sometimes she wondered how the two of you were friends, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. You were one of the few people who didn’t make her feel trapped in the relationship you had. You didn’t have overbearing expectations for her and didn’t base her image off of the one she presented to the public. You were friends with her because of who she was rather than who she seemed to be.

“Ok well, your parents aren’t forcing you to stay home so what do you wanna do?” Sarahh questioned and you sighed.

“I don’t know...I...I literally don’t even do anything on this island.”

Sarah glanced at you and watched as you looked at yourself in your mirror. You’d been going through your closet and had already tried on 6 different outfits since she’d gotten there.

“I heard there’s gonna be a kegger on the boneyard?” Sarah brought up and you paused, looking at her through the mirror. Sarah raised her brows, “We could go to the kegger, drink, smoke, and have fun...or we could stay here...bored...while you try on more outfits,” Sarah tried to make the second option less appealing but considering you were...well, you, you only smiled at her.

“Will you tell me how pretty I look?” you fluttered your eyelashes and Sarah scoffed out a laugh as she grabbed a shirt from the pile of clothes on your bed and bundled it up so she could throw it at you.

“(Y/N) I sat here for 2 hours and watched you do your make up. We’re going to the kegger,” she finalized, “You might as well enjoy yourself while your stuck on the island.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll enjoy myself,” you scoffed, tossing the shirt aside.

"Seriously why don’t you give anyone on this island-aside from me-a chance?” Sarah gave you a hopeful smile.

“Because your brother and his friends wear polos, khaki shorts, and moccasins,” you gave her a mocking smile back and Sarah shrugged as the two of you laughed. You could never understand why Kook boys decided to dress the way they did. Sure the clothes they wore were brand clothing and ridiculously expensive, but that didn’t mean they necessarily looked good.

“Ok, y’know what, I’ll call Topper and we could head out right now. Is that what you wanna wear-”

“Ugh, Topper Thornton? Are you talking to him now?” you groaned and Sarah gave you a look.

“What? He’s cute!” Sarah defended and you rolled your eyes.

“I just don’t trust it. For whatever reason, every cute guy on this island has daddy issues,” you undid the belt around your waist and slipped the large button up shirt off your shoulders, leaving yourself standing in your underwear  and jewelry as you pointed to Sarah to emphasize your point.

“Well Topper obviously does not have daddy issues.”

“Yeah because he has mommy issues,” you snorted and Sarah couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her lips.

“That’s not funny (Y/N)!” she chastised though she was giggling behind her hand.

“Uh, yeah it is,” you shot back and you looked around you at the pile of clothes spread across the floor. You picked up some clothes and too your time to put them on (just to irritate Sarah a little) before you turned to the mirror and looked over your outfit and how it matched with your make up.

“Are you good?” Sarah asked as she slipped her sandals onto her feet. You tilted your head and reached up to muss up your hair a little before nodding.

“Yeah ok,” you answered before you went over to turn off your record player. You stepped over the clothes you’d thrown around the room as you followed after Sarah, making sure to turn your lights off as you went.

“That’s Topper’s car,” Sarah pointed out once you turned around from locking your front door (your parents had banned you from the mainland but that didn’t mean they weren’t allowed to go live their lives) and you tried not to cringe as you noticed that Rafe and Kelce were also in the car.

“Wow, the whole frats here,” you mumbled as Sarah opened the door and let you slide in first.

“Hey (Y/N),” Kelce greeted kindly and you smiled at him, scooting a bit closer so that Sarah could fit in.

“Hi,” you greeted. Kelce was alright. He didn’t really do much aside from follow around Rafe and Topper but outside of that he wasn’t the worst. You thought that maybe if he didn’t feel the need to follow those two around you would get along with him pretty easily.

“Hey,” Topper greeted you awkwardly from the rearview mirror, before he grinned at Sarah. You rolled your eyes even as Sarah nudged at your ribs.

“(Y/N),” Rafe drawled and you tilted your head to the side as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Rafe,” you replied pointedly.

There was an awkward, tense silence in the car before Topper cleared his throat.

“Let’s go?” he questioned and all of you mumbled back some type of confirmation.

By the time you’d gotten to the Boneyard you were overheated in Topper’s car. You’d shrugged off your cardigan, ignoring Rafe’s glance back at you as you continued to mumble to Sarah about something. Topper pulled up to the side of the road, carefully parking his car amongst the billions of other cars that found themselves at the Boneyard.

“I’m literally sweating so much right now,” you whined as you stumbled out of the car, “Why is it so hot in your car Topper?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that sweater,” Topper pointed out and you gave him a look.

“Don’t knock my outfit just cus I know how to dress myself,” you scoffed before you headed off, tugging Sarah along with you. The three boys followed after you, talking between themselves. A few people greeted your lot as you made your way into the heart of the Boneyard, where the kegger was being held. There was a bonfire lit and noise all around. You and Sarah found yourselves mixing in with a group of Tourons, talking about something or another. Rafe, Kelce, and Topper were standing only a few feet away with some of their usual Kook friends.

“Should we get a drink?” you asked Sarah as you settled into the atmosphere and Sarah took a deep breath before she looked over to the keg. In the center of the beach party was usually John B and his usual crew of JJ, Pope, and Kie. The keg was currently being manned by Kie Carrera herself, her 3 friends out of sight. Sarah pursed her lips and shook her head.

“I don’t really wanna head over there,” she told you and you raised a brow.

“You’re gonna drag me to this kegger and....not go to the keg...because of a girl you kind of had beef with your freshman year?”

“(Y/N),” Sarah said firmly and you rolled your eyes.

“Ok I’ll go get us drinks,” you put your arms up and Sarah opened her mouth to protest but you only waved her off as you made your way through the beach. The sand was a little firmer around the Boneyard so you didn’t have to worry that much about your shoes or your ankles giving out on you.

You stepped into where you figured people were lining up to be handed drinks and smoothed out your outfit, ignoring the looks being shot your way. You were used to those at this point.

“Do you always walk off by yourself?”

You tried not to roll your eyes into the back of your head as Rafe stepped up beside you, following the motion of the haphazard line to get closer to the keg.

“Do you always have to bother me?” you replied and Rafe shook his head.

“Yeah I don’t know what your problem with me is (Y/N) but-”

“But?” You cut off Rafe, staring up at him as he clenched his jaw in irritation, “We don’t need to get along Rafe. I’d limit all unnecessary interaction with you if I could, but you just...keep following me around.”

Rafe stayed quiet as you turned away and stepped forward.

“Hey, can I get two?” you requested and the girl manning the keg, Kie, laughed as she filled up a red solo cup.

“Geez up for a wild night?” she looked up, half way to handing you your first cup, and stopped short as she noticed who she was talking to.

“More like an ok night,” you told her taking the cup from her and ignoring the look of shock on her face.

“Oh uh...yeah...I totally get you,” she laughed awkwardly and picked up another red solo cup to fill. You rolled your eyes while she wasn’t looking. You didn’t wanna be caught up in whatever beef these two girls had. You were friends with Sarah sure but it’s not like what Kie had allegedly done was that huge of a deal. Not like anyone had actually gotten arrested (Literally. The cops had arrived and had only asked for the noise level to go down). And you knew Kie. She and Sarah had been best friends at the Kook academy your freshman year and you had been acquaintances with both of them. And though their relationship broke abruptly, and Sarah had begun getting closer to you, you didn’t understand the need to ostracize Kie for something that you weren’t sure she even did.

“Uh so how’s that going so far?” Kie questioned glancing at you and you shrugged.

“I mean I’ve been here for a,” you checked your bare wrist, “solid 20 minutes at least and I’m not arrested or dead so it’s alright.”

“For you, 20 minutes seems pretty good,” Kie joked and she paused unsure if she could even joke with you like this. It was common knowledge that you tended to avoid the Outer Banks and it’s residents as much as you could once no longer tied down to school. Yet as you only chuckled and agreed, Kie smiled, tucking some lose hair behind her ear, “I like your outfit by the way. Not very beach practical, but still very cute.”

“Am I ever beach practical,” you responded and Kie laughed as she nodded in agreement.

“That’s true.”

As Kie reached out to hand you your second cup, a larger hand snatched it up. The lighthearted atmosphere immediately dropped to a tense one as the two of you looked up in unison.

“Oh shit thanks Kiara,” Rafe laughed and you and Kie both shot him a glare.

“Don’t call me Kiara,” Kie hissed and Rafe only shrugged, smirking smugly.

“I think I’ll call a rat whatever I want,” he spit and Kie looked down at the sand in dejection as you frowned at Rafe.

“What the fuck Rafe, are you serious?”

“Hey, I just call out it how it is,” Rafe shrugged.

“I’m not a rat, kook,” Kie’s jaw was clenched in anger.

“Just leave dude,” you told Rafe, “You’re literally being an asshole for nothing.”

“Are you seriously defending her (Y/N)?” Rafe turned to you and you squared up in front of him despite his obvious height advantage. You wouldn’t let someone like Rafe Cameron intimidate you, “I thought you were friends with my sister?”

“And this is any of your business how?” you questioned and Rafe shoulders straightened up in an obvious feeling of defensiveness. Kie’s eyes were wide in shock as she glanced between you and Rafe. Something she definitely didn’t expect was one of Sarah’s closest friends coming to defend her against Sarah’s brother. But you had always been different from the other Kooks and Kie should’ve never underestimated that aspect of you.

“Hey you got an issue or something Kook!?” a voice called out and Kie watched as JJ, with John B and Pope following after him, made their way through the crowd of people. Rafe looked at them over your head but you didn’t even glance away.

“This isn’t your issue Pogues. It’s not always about you,” Rafe huffed and you tilted your head.

“Oh and it’s about you, Rafe?” you questioned and the attention turned back to you. Your necklaces jingled as you adjusted your footing, “Of course it is right? Why else would you be hanging around a bunch of teenagers?”

“You need to watch what you say next,” Rafe breathed, a hostile smile on his face.

“You’re an adult Rafe...and you subject yourself to hanging around people three years younger than you because you have no other way of maintaining your bullshit superiority,” you spoke in a low tone, eager to get under Rafe’s nerves and Rafe’s nerves only, “Oh...sorry if those words were too big for you,” you smiled up at him as your audience chuckled at Rafe’s expense.

From the side the four Pogues watched the interaction go down with wide eyes. They had barely acknowledged the Kooks who had pushed their way to the front of the scene and Sarah, Topper, and Kelce watched the two of you with anticipation. Rafe’s jaw clenched before he licked his lips and smiled that predatory smile of his, he leaned in close to you and you didn’t make a single attempt at back down or away from him.

“Yeah I’m real sure you didn’t think that when I was fucking you on my family’s boat the other night,” he said and a glance to the side indicated that the closest people, that being Kie and her Pogue friends, had heard him. You huffed as you tried to keep your cool.

“Y’know what Rafe? Maybe I would’ve actually enjoyed you fucking me...if you weren’t so far up your dad’s ass-” You gasped in unison with the crowd’s sudden yelling as Rafe threw his cup-drink and all- onto your entire front.

“OOOH SHIT!”

“What the fuck Rafe!?”

“Rafe stop it!”

Topper was quick to pull back Rafe as JJ and John B rushed to step in front of you. You panted heavily as Pope and Kie pulled you back and away from where a fight was very likely going to happen.

You sputtered at the sudden beer that had gone up your nose and you brought a hand up to try and wipe it off of your face, your make up likely ruined beyond repair at this point.

“You are such a pussy Rafe!” JJ yelled and Rafe let out a roar of anger as he broke out of Topper’s grip and shoved at JJ. John B shoved him back and return and soon enough the first punch was thrown. The crowd jeered at them in excitement, cheering them on as Topper, John B, JJ, and Rafe pummeled one another.

“Hey hey hey, are you ok?” Kie questioned you in a haste and you huffed as you wiped at your face once more, slicking your wet hair back.

“Fine-I’m fine! It’s literally...beer and a plastic cup,” you told her to try and stop her from fretting. If she was anything like Sarah...You shook your head and tried to gently push away Pope’s hands as you turned to watch the fight go down. The Kooks seemed to have gotten the upper hand so far and though you cringed you weren’t too surprised. Rafe was a pretty big guy, bigger than John B at least, and Topper seemed to hop onto JJ when the other blonde was already down.

“I think you should be more worried about your friends,” you pointed out and Kie and Pope whipped their heads up to watch their friends fight a losing battle.

“Shit!” Pope hissed.

“Dammit,” Kie breathed, “Get the hell off of them!” she yelled fruitlessly.

“Should I call the cops or something?” you questioned and Pope and Kie stared at you with wide eyes.

“What?! No!” Pope yelled and you put your arms up in defense.

“Ok jeez relax,” you chastised and Pope shrugged, embarrassed. The three of you watched the fight for only a moment longer before you cursed and rushed into the midst of it.

“(Y/N)?!”

“Jesus what is she doing?!-”

“(Y/N) stop!”  

A flurry of voices called out to you as jumped onto Toppers back and tried to get him off of JJ. Topper struggled against you, clearly disoriented and agitated.

“Get-” Topper pulled your arms from around his shoulders and you yelped as he shoved you off. You landed harshly on the sand but quickly scrambled to get back up. If you learned anything from skating, it was get the fuck up as soon as you could and pretend shit didn’t hurt.

“What the fuck are you doing (Y/N)!?” Topper yelled at you and you shoved him back to the general direction of where you figured Kelce and Sarah were as JJ tried to get himself together and Rafe and John B grappled with one another.

“Stop Topper,” you told him firmly before you turned, keeping your hand on Topper’s chest, “Rafe! Quit it, for fuck’s sake!”

JJ had gotten up at this point and was quick to shove Rafe off of John B and into the sand. John B staggered to stand up straight and you winced at the bruises already forming on his face. The two pogues stumbled back and away from Rafe and the Kooks, leaving you in the middle of their standoff.

“Alright, party’s over! Get the hell off our side!” JJ yelled and there was a murmur within the crowd as they began to disperse. Pogues and Kooks sneered at one another as they walked off toward their cars and Tourons only shrugged off the events of the night, clearly not looped into the deeper conflict of the island.

“C’mon (Y/N),” Rafe spit blood out onto the sand as Topper, Kelce, and Sarah stood behind him.

“Fuck you Rafe” you retorted, crossing your arms. You looked past him to Sarah and the girl only furrowed her brows, unsure of what you wanted her to do.

“Why don’t you just leave her alone Cameron?” JJ moved to stand beside you and everyone, including you, looked at JJ in surprise. John B raised a brow at his best friend but moved forward to stand by your other side as Rafe ground his teeth. The tall male ran a hand through his slicked back hair, pushing into a messy look that you’d usually be all over, but you couldn’t stand him right now.

“Fine, if you wanna stay here with these dirty Pogues, than be my fucking guest,” Rafe huffed and you only shrugged, unbothered.

“Better than being around you right now.”

“(Y/N)...” Sarah called and you looked at her. Her eyebrows were furrowed in distress and you couldn’t help the pang of guilt that shot through you for a moment but you stood your ground, “C’mon...please?”

“Sarah I love you but I didn’t even wanna come here tonight, let alone hang around your psycho brother. I’m not leaving with you guys,” you concluded, before you reached down to take your shoes off, “I’m just gonna fuckin’ walk.”

You ignored the calls of your name as you walked away from the boneyard and out onto the street. You didn’t really care that your socks were probably super dirty now, or that it was starting to get cold and you were drenched in beer. Alright...well you did kind of care that you were drenched and smelled like beer. You pulled your phone out and sighed at the message from your parents telling you that they’d be staying in your grandparent’s home in the mainland.

All your friends were on the mainland. Aside from Sarah. And maybe Scarlet but you really didn’t wanna deal with her right now.

The sound of a car pulling up beside you made you roll your eyes.

“Leave me alone please,” you told them, not even sparing whoever it was a glance as you continued walking.

“Not happening princess.”

You turned to look at JJ and the Pogues in surprise.

“Kie?” you questioned pausing in your trek. Their van followed as John B pressed on the breaks.

“Hey (Y/N),” Kie was leaning out the window of the passengers seat, her eyebrows furrowed in worry, “Let us take you home?”

“I really don’t-”

“C’mon (Y/L/N), it’s freezing and your dripping beer. Just get in the Twinkie,” JJ pulled the van door open even further, motioning for you to get in. It was kind of them, really it was. But JJ’s tone had irritated you and your hardheadedness so you only crossed your arms, your shoes dangling from the tips of your fingers.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because we....are offering you warmth and transportation?” JJ sassed.

“JJ. Shut up,” Pope slapped JJ’s chest and the blonde shot him an offended look. Kie rolled her eyes at them and opened the passengers side, stepping out of the car and walking up to you. She hugged herself, a bit insecure as she stood a few feet from you.

“I just..really wanna thank you. For defending me against Rafe,” Kie started, “And uh...I feel like I’ve always kind of judged you just cus you became Sarah’s friend after what happened between me and her, but you’re really cool...and you didn’t have to defend me, but you did.”

You shrugged.

“Doesn’t take much to be a good person,” you answered and Kie nodded.

“Yeah...um but..I just feel bad...that you got caught in the middle of that when you didn’t have to. So please let us take you home? I’m not even trying to...return the favor or anything...it’s just the right thing to do for someone who's always been cool with me...”

You pursed your lips and bit your cheek as Kie looked at you pleadingly.

“You are so corny...” you murmured and Kie only chuckled as she led you over to the van. She slid the door closed behind you as you made your way over to a vacant spot.

“Hey there,” JJ greeted with a grin and Pope waved at you awkwardly.

“Not gonna happen Maybank,” you told him bluntly and his grin dropped.

“Ohoshit,” Pope coughed and Kie snorted as John B shook his head, shifting the gears and driving off toward the other side of the island.

“Wha-hey you never know,” JJ teased and you chuckled.

“Hmm, the rebellious surfer boy isn’t really my type JJ. Sorry.”

“Really? What’s your type then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you smirked, crossed your legs and leaning back against your seat.

“I would like to know actually, that’s why I asked,” JJ quipped and you laughed.

“Ok fine...My type is Heyward here,” you nodded toward the boy and he straightened up in surprise. Pope’s mouth dropped and he floundered for a moment, pointing to himself.

“Pope?! Really?” JJ yelped as Pope smacked him upside the head.

“Screw you JJ,” Pope hissed, though there wasn’t any true animosity in it.

“Yeah I mean Pope’s really cute. Aside from Pope I’d also say Kie but I didn’t want you getting too excited.”

Pope flushed at the compliment and JJ’s eyes widened as he looked over to Kie. The girl turned to look over her shoulder in shock. She turned back to face the front, her cheeks warm, and a smile on her face as John B chuckled from the driver’s seat.

“Sorry bubba but I’d pick Pope too,” John B said and JJ made an offended noise.

“Hey!”

Your group laughed and you couldn’t help but sink into the comfortable and fun atmosphere that came with being with these Pogues. Perhaps you should’ve tried to give them a chance before.

“Oh shit uh where do you live again?” John B asked.

no part 2 sorry :/

[onf-headcanons]

ONF IN PSYCHO PASS AU (part 2)

Setting : angst, murder (influenced mass murder), futuristic society, you can read the introduction post prior reading this AU headcanon (for a better understanding cos some keywords will be slightly difficult for non anime audiences)

And warning long post and shipping hinting (I wont write it over explicit but if you are anime audience you can get the hint of which character I based so its suggestive should you integrated anime counterpart to ONF couterpart) if you are uncomfortable with that just kindly ignore it. Only adding it not just because to follow original series but also for the AU/headcanon storyline conflict purposes

Below is the known situation when the story starts in Yuto's POV

Yuto - Inspector

Changyoon - Inspector

Hyojin - Enforcer former Inspector

Jaeyoung - Enforcer

Minkyun - Analyst

Seungjun & Minseok - dead

And again sorry if its messy (Cos mainly I just want this AU to exist and making it to a birthday gift for myself XD)

The whole structure is followed the anime,but I will fast paced-ify to focus on main storyline. Also I will tweak my words/wordings to a more simpler format so that I wont cause you all headache.

Part 2 lets go (and here is where the story starts to be different from the anime plot, but main structure is kept the same)

1-4

(What's written in the file)

The 1st file

Kim Minseok, deceased at age of 20, was a former analyst in CID

2 years from today, it is reported that Kim Minseok was being held hostage along with his friend. It is his off day and the mall he was at, was coincidentally assaulted by terrorist. It is clearly that the attack is meticulously planned.

The group of terrorist have split themselves into smaller groups and used the first attacked location as their base. The head of the group with a about 20 men stay at the mall while the rest the members head out towards the city and started violence.

The group of terrorist took many hostages and they hid themselves in the warehouse (the only building that is currently safe to hide), threatening authorities for money and even the releasing of some mastermind/potential criminals.

They even mentioned should authorities killed 1 of their own, they will kill 1 hostages. That is the reason why they took hostages with exact number of the members in the terrorist group.

The authorities noticed the detected raise of area stress level. Since military are involved, CID are teamed up other department to resolve the issue while politicians try to juggle with terrorists. The goal is to rescue all hostages.

But while waiting, the terrorist had fun torturing their hostages but still keeping alive, based on witness, they are torturing hostages to kill time. (This also resulted authorities had to put effort to operate Psycho Pass cleansing program. as aftermath.)

When rescuing hostages, as reported by former military staff, that the boss of the group killed a hostage who was believed to be a friend of Kim Minseok. The boss was handled immediately before he can do more damage with Lethal Eliminator wounding him badly. This was proved by Lee Seungjun, former and deceased Inspector from CID who was assigned to back up with hostage rescuing mission.

However, Sibyl system detected Kim Minseok's Crime Coefficient level kept rising and spiked up to a highest record in history, marked 812 . Sibyl system judged that there is no saving for Kim Minseok and is to be executed at once. With some difficulties, Kim Minseok was executed by quick decision made by former military staff.

The 2nd file

Kim Hyojin, current status : alive. Former Inspector and current Enforcer of Bureau stationed in CID.

His Crime Coefficient level has tendency to be unstable after the death of his brother Kim Minseok and his colleague, Lee Seungjun. However it was under control as it did not surpass 100.

Based on witness, and observation, Kim Hyojin believed that Lee Seungjun was murdered instead of suicide. It was believed that he over committed into his delusions due to denial while grieving the loss of his brother and his best friend.

And to the extent he assaulted a former military staff who was also assigned to the hostage rescue mission along with Lee Seungjun. And that moment his the record of Crime Coefficient raised to 224 as he was "clouded by anger"

He was later assessed and treated before demoted to Enforcer.

1-5

(loosely based on episode 6,7 and 8)

Even though vague and its just suspicions, Minkyun voices up about a similarity he noticed from previous cases the team has handled recently. What Minkyun noticed was, even though the MO are different in all cases, the criminal are using a similar tech when they are committing crime

Hyojin and Changyoon's experience understand and believe in Minkyun's intention and worry should there is a mastermind behind and there is a larger picture. The team are in dumbstruck that those two would suddenly agree with each other.

"We need to be alert, cannot afford to repeat the tragic event happened 2 years ago." Changyoon comments

"Should there is another huge crime event, the whole city and country's Psycho Pass will go crazy, what happened 2 years ago only child's play in comparison." Hyojin adds

Yuto could feel his back bone shivers when he heard Hyojin talks about it non chalantly. Does he?

And look at the timing, before they can dig deeper into the tech, it is reported that a girl school faculty had a murder case.

While handling the case, Yuto finds opportunity to apologies to Hyojin because he has read into Hyojin's and Minseok's file. That was when Yuto and Hyojin are at office being a support back up for the crime scene investigating members.

"Wait, Why do I have to get angry, Yuto-ya?" Hyojin replies Yuto with a question. And this was a bit unexpected because Yuto thought Hyojin would feel down or upset or even get angry at Changyoon for spilling his history without his consent.

"I guess should I am angry, that would be solely directed at myself..." Hyojin continues with a thoughtful expression. But there a hint of sadness to it. "I knew something was wrong when I observed Seungjun's dead scene and my instincts told me that it might related to my brother's death. Just because I could not make it into words, no one believed in me."

"Is that why you confronted with the ex - military staff?" Yuto pieced the puzzle together. And Hyojin confirms it with a yes.

Yuto can understand why the word "delusions" are used. But unlike others, he does not push away Hyojin's emotions and "delusions".

Yuto timidly asks, "Lee Seungjun.-sshi?..Changyoon-sshi says he is your best friend...Must be someone you treasures."

Hyojin nods and his facial expression becomes brighter. "He is, I known him for ages, we always got each other's back."

"What kind of person is he?"

"Sometimes annoying, but a warm and excellent friend. Knowing him is the best and proudest thing that could happen in my life. " Hyojin smiles as he reminiscing about Seungjun. "I guess Changyoon already told you that I led the team back then right?"

Yuto nods and quietly listens to Hyojin talks about the old days.

"But actually without Seungjun being the pillar support to the team, I don't think I can lead well. Even though outsiders sees the team only led by me. But..." Hyojin pauses for a bit. "It was also led by Seungjun too. Along with Minseok, I never expect both of them to die in those ways."

Initially Yuto wanted to ask more about the old days, but when Hyojin spoke the name of his brother, Yuto pursues his lips as a sign of hesitation. But to his surprise...

"Do you know that Minseok joined the Bureau in a very young age?" Hyojin raised his head and looks at Yuto with glittering eyes. "Wait, you are 99 liner right? That makes you the same age as Minseok!"

Yuto could not process for a bit, so he went along with the flow. With that, more details about Hyojin's brother came out. So Minseok was filed as prodigy during a young age and arranged to join Bureau as an exception. And due to his young age and no plans for him to head out for action, the Bureau only focused on Minseok's academics and training as Analyst. Minseok did some basic self defense but it is not sufficient to qualify as a fighter.

"Aah... Should Minseok and Seungjun are here right now, they will be happy to meet you. Minseok never really had same aged friends when he is in the Bureau..." Hyojin gazes at Yuto as he mutters.

And speaking of Minseok, Yuto then suddenly remembers something and asks Hyojin about the hostage they met on Yuto's first day. "Hyojin- hyung... by any chance, actually you were not trying to hurt the hostage we met on my first day but were trying to contain them by driving them to a dead end?"

"Took you damn long time to figure that out." Hyojin pouts. "To think innocent people getting involved and caught up to things that are way out of normal....Anyone, even Minseok must have been very terrified and stressed to the extent his hue clouded and contaminated."

"But is he truly beyond saving?" Hyojin raise a question with a cold stare that gives Yuto chills.

Yuto keeps his silence as he worried to speak one wrong word. He wanted to say something but the event was 2 years ago and in file writes Hyojin as delusional, and since Changyoon is awfully cold towards Hyojin... Yuto does not know if he should trust everything the person in red hair says because he is questioning the system or trust his own hunch that Hyojin might have some insight that everyone chooses to ignore.

"Come on, don't look so acted up! Sorry if I scared you." Hyojin pats on Yuto's back and changed the mood.

Yuto smiles back at Hyojin and carefully offers, "Hyung , on next off day, can you bring me to visit their graves? I would like to pay my respect towards them as a junior joining this team."

Hyojin lifts his hand and pats Yuto, he smiles even wider and nods at younger one, "Sure. I promise I will not cause any trouble. Our Little Rookie Inspector."

Yuto understands it Hyojin teasing him again, but he let it slide because the mood is finally cheerful now.

"Thank you Yuto." Hyojin suddenly drop that out of no where. "Ever since I became Enforcer, no one talk about them anymore. It is nice to hear their name coming out from 3rd person's mouth and no one is depressed upon hearing it."

Yuto nods as a reply, and that moment, Minkyun returns with the other team. Hyojin instantly puts his index finger close to his lips, indicating the whole conversation a while ago to be kept secret. And Minkyun caught that, playfully wailing that Hyojin is being unfair and he should not just share his secret to Yuto only.

So the case that they has to attend to this time was young girl students being murdered, dissected/dismembered and later ensemble to look like an art piece of dark and grotesque genre.

It was suspected that a former teacher is committing the crime due to revenge by abducting the students and displaying the achievement by making the corpse into "art form". However, it did not take long for a second case with the same MO to appear and there is still no sign of the former teacher to be found anywhere in the city. Before any new evidence to be found, the Bureau can only back up by help enhancing security at the all girls school.

While looking at the photo of exhibit of dismembered victim, Jaeyoung unconsciously mentioned about genre and art style and the keywords enlightened the team. Minkyun search the data base but none could be found. Leaving the option of dark web, but it is unwise for Bureau to deal with those even if its for case solving purpose..

Hyojin remembers a criminal locked might help and once he gotten Changyoon's approval, Yuto and Hyojin immediately head to the place, hoping the person in Hyojin's mind could lend a hand. Yuto is curious on why Hyojin is so confident that the said person might be helpful, Hyojin mentioned that he was the one who put the said person behind the bars for having high Crime Coefficient level while selling illegal inappropriate artworks banned by authority policy.

Thankfully, the artist in confinement noticed the genre and art style by browsing through MO photo data provided by Hyojin and Yuto. It gave a huge clue, the MO was inspired by a famous underground artist, whose works are banned on market but the sales thrives in the black market. Apparently the artist has black market art persona and the normal persona. Art maniacs knows about this so it is not really a secret unless you dig into to it enough.

The team let Minkyun to run the data base to see if there is any connection between artist and students, even teachers and staffs in the school and BINGO. Apparently the artist's daughter is attending the school.

Knowing its a very suggestive clue, the team rushes to the school to get their culprit. They succeeded on getting the criminal this time but the murder still succeed in doing her 1 last act getting caught by CID. (Here is different from anime)

While monitoring back ups helping to clear crime scene, Changyoon calls Hyojin to have a chat at the Enforcers wagon and let Yuto to monitor Jaeyoung.

Back in the wagon, Changyoon and Hyojin temporary forgot their conflicts and start to piece the puzzles together. Changyoon even though sometimes is a bit not flexible, but when he sees Hyojin acknowledging Minkyun, he knows that the Enforcer in front of him is still the ex superior he knows.

Changyoon scratches his head a bit and tells Hyojin that the current and previous virtual community case felt a bit off. And should Minkyun's hint are actually legit, how should they tie up all the puzzle together?

Hyojin while biting his knuckles he goes, "Even though the young criminal this time has a high IQ. but as a minor, it is hard to believe that they can prepare such intricate crime display."

"I agree. " Changyoon adds, "This is an all girl school with dorm and I don't think our young criminal can gain access to the tools even if she wants to."

Hyojin and Changyoon come to a conclusion, that there is definitely a mastermind or consultant helping out criminals to execute their crimes, but who?

All cases looking irrelevant against each other but with the frequencies of cases occurring here and there, it does not hurt to think whoever behind this definitely is aiming for a raise of area stress level in a national degree. If that so, they might not dealing with a mastermind, but a group of crime syndicate who is trying to initiate a psycho hazard.

Although they both do not have strong evidence to prove their point but should their speculations are true (because of their first hand experience come contact with all these cases), it is already scary. While terror attack can produce fear and violence in large scale straightforwardly, a raise of crime number/disturbing criminal events affecting citizen's mental security can have long term effect. It is also a way to make authority focus on cleansing and clearing the hue and got distracted from something even menacing.

After a few seconds of silence, Hyojin finally breaks the ice., "Do we have a list of mastermind criminals that the terrorist group requested the authority to release 2 years ago?"

Changyoon replies "Yes we have, but... the authority did not really released them for reals. Its just a fake act to buy time...."

Hyojin stares at Changyoon in a straight face as they had thought of the same possibility.

"Hyojin are you suggesting that the terror attack was just to cover up a secret swap?" Changyoon stood up in disbelief, eyes wide open. "Thats crazy! Do you know how many terrorist members are there on that day? That many manpower and gunpowder just to do a human swap? For what purpose?!"

"And if there is a secret swap, are you saying that there is a traitor in our government?" Changyoon exclaims.

Hyojin only lowers his gaze and mutters, "I don't know." and he continues

"And you still think I am crazy?" Hyojin raises a corner of his lips and look at Changyoon with a victorious smile.

"I know you are delusional but this is insane, Hyojin." Changyoon frowns while he mutters. "Why do you have to complicate things and push yourself so hard until your Psycho Pass get clouded so bad?"

"My brother and my best friend both died with unconvincing cause of death. There are numerous points that are quite fishy regarding to the terror attack 2 years ago, Changyoon." Hyojin stares at Changyoon with firm eyes and its overflowing with hope.

"Seungjun wasn't himself after the death of my brother, it was not only guilt and regret he was feeling, he never acted like that before. He knew something. He must have seen something." Seeing Changyoon standing in front of him in silence, Hyojin took the chance to continue.

"I was there, I was the first person to find Seungjun's death scene. And as an former Inspector, I can tell you that was not a suicide." Hyojin starts to get excited as he voices out his points. "Who would choose to burn themselves and set a fire to their apartment room while at it when they can have a quick death?"

Changyoon still looking at Hyojin as if he is looking at a clown.

"You are a smart guy Changyoon, you can definitely tell there is something off if you..."

"Shut up." Changyoon silences Hyojin as he knows Hyojin is trying to persuade him to share common interest, Changyoon groans in irritation and barges out from the wagon, leaving Hyojin startled.

Jaeyoung who come across to this, asks if Hyojin did anything to piss Changyoon off in a concerned tone, Hyojin only denies him by laughing it off.

And Changyoon, who dashes into his car, punches the steering with his might before covering his face with his hands.

"What am I to you then?" he whispers into the silence. "Am I not your friend as well?"

To be continued on part 3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #331

my head hurts way too badly to think up some intro lyrics, so just g’night.

Have you ever become good friends with someone you never met in person? Oh yeah, I've had best friends over the Internet. Hell, I'm closer to many online friends than I am most irl ones. They know "the real me" more. What do you consider your default mood to be? Stressed, probably. Discontent. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Not long. Proper goldfish husbandry is a very neglected topic, and I sure as hell never knew how to set up its tank adequately. Have you ever been paintballing? No, don't plan to. It looks like it hurts like a bitch. Do you want a large wedding? No. Did you ever collect any sort of cards? I had a very small collection of Pokemon cards. I didn't collect them avidly. What’re the best and worst books you ever had to read for a class? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton was the best. The worst was some book we had to read in the 6th grade about a kid during some war that moved around a lot... I don't remember the name or who wrote it, but it sucked. What’s the best meal you had at an amusement park, or If you haven’t been to one, how about a good meal at another place like a zoo, aquarium or museum? I don't know. I haven't been to many. Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? My PHP therapist emails me a check-in sheet and Zoom link every day there's a therapy session. What kind of sound or noise freaks you out the most and why do you think it scares you? Let's seeeee... I don't know if there's a sound that actually freaks me out. There are some I don't like, but none that like, frighten me. At least that I can think of. What’s the strangest art piece you’ve come across? Biiiitch there's a painting in Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs I'm not gonna go into, but shit fuckin wild. What’s the most clever or unique name you’ve come across for a business? I've definitely heard some cool ones, but I don't know about one that really stands out to answer this. If you had to name one of your hypothetical future children after a song, which song would you pick? Maybe like... okay, I'm blanking. Good thing I'm not having kids to name then, right? What’s the last song you heard? "Down in the Park" by Marilyn Manson is on atm. What is your favorite line from a TV show? *shrug* Any current family issues? No. How many hours do you spend online a day? How do you feel about that? I'm doing something on the computer pretty much... always. I hate it, and I hate it a lot. I don't want my life to be tied solely to the digital plane. I want to do more than bounce back and forth from website to website. Do you think that people have the power to make their own lives better? Absolutely, but there are some things they simply cannot change. It's about perspective and how you play the deck you're dealt. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Right now, the most limiting thing is my physical health, probably. Just walking being torture affects my ability to exercise, and my body is a major reason - if not the biggest, at this current time - for my depression. This also plays a massive role in jobs I can handle. Not to sound like my emo self writing middle school poetry, but my body feels like a prison. Do you feel that you are loved? I know I am by some people, though I have a hard time understanding why a lot. What is the one thing you want most from life? Life satisfaction. Pride in what I've accomplished. A regular state of being content. Birthplace? I'm just gonna say in eastern NC. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, merely infatuation. Love is much too deep for that. Do you think dreams eventually come true? Some can, but usually only if you put effort into making that so. Favorite fictional character? like ummmmmmmm have you heard of this sassy bastard called Darkiplier- Go to the movies or rent? Before Covid, I loved going to the theater. It was something to do, plus a giant screen is nice. McDonalds or Burger King? McD's. I'm not a big BK fan. I only really went there during my vegetarian phase for the veggie burger. Current annoyance? This motherfucking headache. Last thing you ate? I have a meal replacement shake with me right now, if you consider that "eating." I didn't have a proper dinner. The last solid food I had though was some cookies and cream Greek yogurt. Last thing you bought? With my own money, I think I bought Mom and I some cheap McDonald's order semi-recently? Or maybe paying my $100 deposit for my tattoo was most recent, idk. Soonest thing you are looking forward to? For Mom to get her CT scan and find out what's going on in there. What did you do today? It was a pretty average day. I woke up way too early, though. The only thing even semi-unique about today was I played World of Warcraft for a few hours again; I've been quite unattached to it lately, but I went through an episode today of actually having fun playing. Oh, and I've been battling a migraine. It's more of a severe headache now, at least, but it still sucks big time. Do you like to see it snowing outside? Oh yes, absolutely! When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? I believe once we did from a very volatile student that honestly caused quite a lot of trouble. He's dead now. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Did you have a job before you were in college? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? That's a terrifying thought, no. Are you on birth control? Yeah, but just because it tames my menstrual cramps. Without it, they could be debilitating some days. Who is your last sent text to? My best fren. Have you ever eaten at Chipotle before? Possibly? Idr. Do you swear often? Excessively. I had a dirty mouth prior, but my swearing got really bad when I started staying at Jason's house a lot. He and especially his mother swear like mad. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? Not at this house, no. Would you ever go to Japan? Oh, yes. I would love to. It's... very morbid, but I would really like to walk the (public) paths of Aokigahara Forest, nicknamed "Suicide Forest" for the horrible amount of, well, suicides that happen there via hanging. Like, you might just casually run into a dead body. I want to just... feel it there, walk in silence and empathize with people who didn't know what else to do and hope so deeply that those departed know they were never alone in their pain. I know with absolute certainty I'd probably be teary-eyed the whole time and cry a whoooole lot, but it's just an experience I want to have. What was the last thing you went to Walmart for? Some basic groceries. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping, given this headache... I just don't want to yet. Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? I'm fucking terrified of that ever happening again, far more than words can properly express. Have you ever been in a choir? Yes, actually; when I was a Catholic kid, my sisters and I were in the church choir for a year or so, idr. Do you have a Twitter? Yes, but only to like Mark's tweets, haha. Oh, and very rarely enter giveaways I'm interested in. Describe your retainers to me, if you have them, that is. I have a permanent metal one behind my front row of bottom teeth to keep those straight. My upper teeth had one of those normal retainers you take in and out, but I didn't wear it enough, so now it doesn't even fit. Would you like for someone to call you right now? No. I'm tired, my head hurts, and I'm enjoying the song I'm bingeing. It's so weird, I rarely ever go on music hunting trips (no real reason, I just... don't), but I've found great shit lately. Do you like to brush your teeth? No; it's a chore. I only do it because I don't want my teeth decaying, falling out, or getting too yellow, and the taste in your mouth and gritty texture on your teeth isn't exactly great when you don't brush. Have you ever had a surgery? Two. Give out your phone number over the internet? I have over private messages. Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Given my wardrobe (like graphic tees and band shirts), I probably look younger in the eyes of especially older people. I personally say I look my age, though. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? I never plan to be again. What is the last show that you watched a full episode of? Some cooking show with Mom. Nailed It!, I think? Do you know anyone who lives in Utah? No. I love Utah, though; it's actually a place I'd be willing to live in with just how pretty it is and not super populated. Do you get your feelings hurt easily? VERY. I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you can meet. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? Yeah. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? First we took those nasty, chalky Flintstones kinds, but as time passed, Mom moved onto giving us gummy bear vitamins that were perfectly fine. Did you get any compliments today? No. Are you friends with your neighbors? Not "friends," no. What towns have you lived in? Three different ones. That's all you're getting. Have you ever thrown up from drinking? No. Done any illegal drugs? No. I mean I've had some alcohol underage, but I've never done anything remotely hardcore. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been on an airplane without changing flights? Idk. Who have you texted today? My mom and best friend. What time did you wake up this morning? Ugh, like five in the fucking morning. I couldn't go back to sleep. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Making shitty eye contact, and I'm one of those people who "talks with [their] hands." I also lose my train of thought a whoooole lot. Have you ever layed in a hammock? Yeah; we had one growing up. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? Well yeah, I've had lots of pets, so thus lost some in particularly painful ways. The most scarring loss of a pet though is as follows: Teddy, my dog, picked up one of our cat's very young, wandering kittens in his jaws in a manner that looked as if he was trying to carry it like Aphrodite (the mother cat) does when she would bring them back behind the couch, where she gave birth/had her little "nest." I absolutely freaked and had to pry the kitten from his mouth, and it slowly died in my hands. I think Teddy accidentally crushed its ribs. I. Was. A. Mess. Then, there was Aphrodite herself. I've told the story before of our former neighbors calling animal control because our cats would wander through their yard, and all of our cats were taken away while I was unaware at school. Came home, and they were all gone. Aphrodite was my baby, so I was devastated. Screaming, sobbing, cursing on the porch for like 20 minutes... It was awful. What type of curtains do you like? I don't... know? I don't know the actual names of any types... What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? I absolutely cannot be friends with someone who thinks they're above everyone else. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I think I am. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Cookies! Especially Oreos. Dip it in there for around five seconds, and it's perfection. What fruit is too sweet to you? Grapefruit came to mind first. How did you feel after your first kiss? I had butterflies galore and was so giddy and smiley. After the first, I just wanted to kiss him a billion more times. What’s your favorite constellation and why? I don't have one. Shower curtain or door? Curtain. The glass doors are too revealing. Have you ever thought to yourself that you’re the luckiest person in the world? Most deeeeefinitely not. What time of day do you most enjoy looking at the sky? Sunset if there are clouds present, but sunrise if the sky is pretty clear.